Last night she’d faced him. Literally stood in front of him and called him out on what he’d done. This morning, she’d woken feeling physically wrung out, as if her skin were bruised, tender. Yet there was also another sensation emerging from somewhere deeper: one of quiet strength, which had nothing to do with how quickly she could tear through the water.
Reaching the shelf of tiny white pebbles, she lowered her feet and waded towards the shore, shaking the sea from her hair.
At her feet, she reached for a piece of gnarled driftwood, tinder-dry. Turning it through her fingers, she lifted the wood to her face, breathed in. Earth and salt and wood. She tossed it on the growing pile ready for tonight’s beach fire, then turned towards the villa.
Bella was descending the steps in a bikini and sunglasses, waving at her. Guilt wormed into her chest. She shouldn’t have deserted Bella and the others at the taverna, but she hadn’t had the capacity to return to the table, explain.
She wondered why she’d not confided in Bella about Nico. Perhaps it was because she’d thought she wouldn’t understand: if a man had said those cruel things to Bella, pressed her up against a wall, Bella would’ve kneed him in the balls and got on with her day.
Bella was a beautiful whirlwind of vibrant, infectious energy, and God, Fen loved spending time with her, she really did. Yet deep down, she also knew that their relationship wasn’t working. Doubts had been building for a while, but this hen weekend had solidified them. A leaden feeling settled in her middle: once they were home, they’d need to talk.
‘I was just coming to join you! I even put my bikini on damp,’ Bella said, plucking at a wet strap. ‘Do you want to go back in the sea?’
‘Oh, sorry – I’ve finished,’ she said, picking up a towel and knotting it around her waist. Seeing Bella’s disappointment, she added, ‘Later, though.’
As they climbed the steps to the terrace, Bella slipped her small, warm hand into Fen’s – as if sensing that she would need to hold on tightly.
52
Robyn
Robyn scooped rounds of deep-green kiwi, sweet oranges, and jewelled pomegranate seeds into her bowl. My God, the joy of being able to sit and eat breakfast at leisure, not needing to negotiate with a toddler, or reach for a lobbed beaker, or wipe smeared banana from a high-chair tray.
‘Thank you,’ she said to Eleanor, who was sitting adjacent to her, hair neat beneath a white cotton sun hat. ‘This is such a treat.’
Eleanor smiled, pleased.
Fen and Bella emerged on the terrace, taking seats together on the opposite side of the table. Fen looked lighter this morning, the tension smoothed from her brow. She caught Robyn’s eye and smiled.
A burst of warmth moved through her chest.
‘Anyone seen Ana this morning?’ Lexi asked.
‘I think she went walking on the cliff path. Probably ringing Luca,’ Robyn said.
Pouring a mug of coffee, Bella asked, ‘Who’s looking after him while she’s on holiday? His father?’
Eleanor looked up sharply.
‘No, he’s not in the picture,’ Lexi explained easily. ‘Luca’s staying with Ana’s sister.’
‘I see,’ Bella said with a strange arch of her brow.
Had Robyn missed something? Growing up, her parents rarely argued, so she’d learned to read tension in its more subtle manifestations: the clenching of a jaw, the stiffening of a spine, a mug set down to punctuate a sentence. It put her on edge, scanning for the first hint of unease. No, she’d rather an argument, get it over and done with and clear the air.
‘How was the rest of your night out?’ she asked Lexi. ‘Sorry to leave early. I was whacked. Too much sun.’
‘We went to a couple of bars in the Old Town. Did you get back okay? How are you feeling?’
‘Fine. Just needed a good night’s sleep.’
‘Went straight to bed, then?’ Bella asked.
Robyn looked up. Bella was staring at her from behind her sunglasses. ‘We had a drink first, then yes, called it a night.’
‘A second wind,’ Bella said.
‘Guess so.’
Bella plucked a piece of fruit from the serving bowl and dropped it into her mouth.
Eleanor glared at her across the table.
What is with everyone?
‘How was Ed when you spoke last night?’ Robyn asked Lexi brightly. ‘I bet you’re missing each other.’
Lexi’s expression was remote, her thoughts somewhere else. As the sun hit the side of her face, Robyn noticed her skin looked sallow despite the holiday, purplish shadows settled into the sockets of her eyes.