‘Probably not,’ Lexi said, breathless. ‘There!’ She wiped the back of her hand across her forehead.
Eleanor wore long shorts, the cotton darkening as she waded into the shallows, and a plain white T-shirt and a cotton hat. She probably looked like she’d dressed for summer camp. She held the boat steady while Lexi climbed in, hooking the hem of her dress in one hand and swinging a leg over the side.
Eleanor followed, clunking her knee on an oar and stumbling in, causing the boat to rock chaotically.
‘Sorry, there aren’t any life jackets,’ Lexi said, picking up the oars. She’d searched the villa on Eleanor’s behalf. ‘Are you okay being out on the water?’
‘It’s fine. I’m not intending to fall in.’
Eleanor didn’t want to go rowing. It wasn’t because she was afraid she couldn’t swim. It was the space: too small. Couldn’t get off. Far too intense to be sitting opposite someone with nowhere to go. She’d have preferred to be the one rowing; at least it would give her hands something to do. She never knew where to put her hands when she talked. How did other people not think about them? Hers were like these two drunken idiots who kept lurching with over-exaggerated movements. She was forever thinking: My hands! Look what they’re doing now! And then she’d lose the thread of the conversation.
She shoved them under her thighs. There.
‘The last time I rowed was when I was a teenager,’ Lexi said, dipping the oars into the water, propelling them forwards. ‘Bella, Robyn and I would rent these little wooden motorboats and take them downriver, packs of cigarettes stuffed in our bags. We’d cut the engine and drift into the reeds. We’d lie there and smoke and drink and look at the clouds.’
Eleanor felt the boat glide across the surface, picturing the three of them in their teens. She envied Lexi, having that bond. Friends who journeyed with you throughout all the stages of your life.
‘Once, we couldn’t restart the engine,’ Lexi continued, ‘so we had to row back. It took us two hours to get upriver. The owner yelled at us for going too far and running down the petrol tank. Bella insisted the engine was faulty and demanded our money back. When the owner refused, she told him exactly what he could do with his boat – and that was the end of our summer on the river!’
Eleanor knew she should respond by laughing or smiling, but she felt no cheer towards Bella.
Lexi looked at her from beneath the rim of her hat. ‘I know Bella can come across as a bit … feisty, but there’s another side to her. She’s one of the most caring people I know. Generous, too. Bella would do anything for her friends.’
Friends, yes, Eleanor thought. But what about the rest of us? ‘Why did you invite me on this hen weekend?’
Lexi blinked, as if surprised by the non-sequitur. ‘Because I wanted you to come.’
Eleanor’s hands had freed themselves again and her fingers had started scratching her forearm. ‘Or because you felt sorry for me?’
Lexi paused from rowing. ‘I feel sorry that you’ve lost Sam. I’d feel terrible for anyone who’d lost their fiancé. But no, that’s not why I wanted you to be here. I invited you because we’re going to be sisters-in-law. Because I want us to get to know each other. Because we’re going to be family.’
It was a good answer and Eleanor was pleased with it.
‘Why would you ask me that?’ Lexi said.
‘Bella said you invited me out of pity.’
Lexi’s eyes widened. ‘What? I never said that to Bella. She had no right to say otherwise.’
Eleanor shrugged. She glanced at the oars hovering above the glimmering sea. ‘You’re not getting us very far. Want me to have a go now?’
The boat skated gently across the surface, a lengthening wake stretching behind them. The visibility was so clear that Eleanor could still see the round white pebbles of the seabed.
She rowed them towards the cliff line, submerged rocks wavering beneath the surface, studded with sea urchins. She was grateful for the light breeze cooling the sweat lining her back.
‘Eleanor,’ Lexi began. ‘I don’t want you to think I was being secretive, not telling Ed about the baby. I’d hoped to talk to him before anyone else found out.’
She shrugged. ‘I know.’
Lexi pressed the heels of her hands into the wooden seat. ‘Do you think he’ll be happy?’
A little frown appeared between Lexi’s brows as she waited for Eleanor’s answer. ‘I’m sure he will. He adores you.’ There. That was something that was true. God, this boat was tiny. She pulled harder at the oars to keep her mind focused.