Jamie waited until they were out of earshot. Then he yanked me around to face him. He was clearly furious, on the verge of explosion. I felt my own wrath rising; what right did he have to treat me like this?
"Sulking!" he said. "Sulking, is it? I'm using all the self-control I've got, to keep from shakin' ye 'til your teeth rattle, and you tell me not to sulk!"
"What in the name of God is the matter with you?" I asked angrily. I tried to shake off his grip, but his fingers dug into my upper arms like the teeth of a trap.
"What's the matter wi' me? I'll tell ye what the matter is, since ye want to know!" he said through clenched teeth. "I'm tired of having to prove over and over that you're no an English spy. I'm tired of having to watch ye very minute, for fear of what foolishness you'll try next. And I'm verra tired of people trying to make me watch while they rape you! I dinna enjoy it a bit!"
"And you think I enjoy it?" I yelled. "Are you trying to make out it's my fault?!" At this, he did shake me slightly.
"It is your fault! Did ye stay put where I ordered ye to stay this mornin', this would never have happened! But no, ye won't listen to me, I'm no but your husband, why mind me? You take it into your mind to do as ye damn please, and next I ken, I find ye flat on your back wi' your skirts up, an' the worst scum in the land between your legs, on the point of takin' ye before my eyes!" His Scots accent, usually slight, was growing broader by the second, sure sign that he was upset, had I needed any further indication.
We were almost nose to nose by this time, shouting into each other's face. Jamie was flushed with fury, and I felt the blood rising in my own face.
"It's your own fault, for ignoring me and suspecting me all the time! I told you the truth about who I am! And I told you there was no danger in my going with you, but would you listen to me? No! I'm only a woman, why should you pay any attention to what I say? Women are only fit to do as they're told, and follow orders, and sit meekly around with their hands folded, waiting for the men to come back and tell them what to do!"
He shook me again, unable to control himself.
"And if ye'd done that, we wouldna be on the run, with a hundred Redcoats on our tail! God, woman, I dinna know whether to strangle ye or throw ye on the ground and hammer ye senseless, but by Jesus, I want to do something to you."
At this, I made a determined effort to kick him in the balls. He dodged, and jammed his own knee between my legs, effectively preventing any further attempts.
"Try that again and I'll slap you 'til your ears ring," he growled.
"You're a brute and a fool," I panted, struggling to escape his grip on my shoulders. "Do you think I went out and got captured by the English on purpose?"
"I do think ye did it on purpose, to get back at me for what happened in the glade!" My mouth fell open.
"In the glade? With the English deserters?"
"Aye! Ye think I should ha' been able to protect ye there, an' you're right. But I couldna do it; you had to do it yourself, and now you're tryin' to make me pay for it by deliberately putting yourself, my wife, in the hands of a man that's shed my blood!"
"Your wife! Your wife! You don't care a thing about me! I'm just your property; it only matters to you because you think I belong to you, and you can't stand to have someone take something that belongs to you!"
"Ye do belong to me," he roared, digging his fingers into my shoulders like spikes. "And you are my wife, whether ye like it or no!"
"I don't like it! I don't like it a bit! But that doesn't matter either, does it? As long as I'm there to warm your bed, you don't care what I think or how I feel! That's all a wife is to you—something to stick your cock into when you feel the urge!"
At this, his face went dead white and he began to shake me in earnest. My head jerked violently and my teeth clacked together, making me bite my tongue painfully.
"Let go of me!" I shouted. "Let go, you"—I deliberately used the words of Harry the deserter, trying to hurt him—"you rutting bastard!" He did let go, and fell back a pace, eyes blazing.
"Ye foul-tongued bitch! Ye'll no speak to me that way!"
"I'll speak any way I want to! You can't tell me what to do!"
"Seems I can't! Ye'll do as ye wish, no matter who ye hurt by it, won't ye? Ye selfish, willful—"
"It's your bloody pride that's hurt!" I shouted. "I saved us both from those deserters in the glade, and you can't stand it, can you? You just stood there! If I hadn't had a knife, we'd both be dead now!"