He came to stand by the bed, swinging the belt gently back and forth.
"Well, lass, I'm afraid we've a matter still to settle between us before we sleep tonight." I felt a sudden stab of apprehension.
"What is it?"
He didn't answer at once. Deliberately not sitting down on the bed by me, he pulled up a stool and sat facing me instead.
"Do ye realize, Claire," he said quietly, "that all of us came close to bein' killed this afternoon?"
I looked down at the quilt, shamefaced. "Yes, I know. My fault. I'm sorry."
"Aye, so ye realize," he said. "Do ye know that if a man among us had done such a thing, to put the rest in danger, he would ha' likely had his ears cropped, or been flogged, if not killed outright?" I blanched at this.
"No, I didn't know."
"Well, I know as you're not yet familiar wi' our ways, and it's some excuse. Still, I did tell ye to stay hid, and had ye done so, it would never have happened. Now the English will be lookin' high and low for us; we shall have to lie hid during the days and travel at night now."
He paused. "And as for Captain Randall… aye, that's something else again."
"He'll be looking for you especially, you mean, now that he knows you're here?" He nodded absently, looking off into the fire.
"Aye. He… it's personal, with him, ye know?"
"I'm so sorry, Jamie," I said. Jamie dismissed this with a wave of the hand.
"Eh, if it were only me ye'd hurt by it, I wouldna say more about it. Though since we're talkin'," he shot me a sharp glance, "I'll tell ye that it near killed me to see that animal with his hands on you." He looked off into the fire, grim-faced, as though reliving the afternoon's events.
I thought of telling him about Randall's… difficulties, but was afraid it would do more harm than good. I desperately wanted to hold Jamie and beg him to forgive me, but I didn't dare to touch him. After a long moment of silence, he sighed and stood up, slapping the belt lightly against his thigh.
"Well, then," he said. "Best get on wi' it. You've done considerable damage by crossing my orders, and I'm going to punish ye for it, Claire. Ye'll recall what I told ye when I left ye this morning?" I recalled all right, and I hastily flung myself across the bed so my back was pressed to the wall.
"What do you mean?"
"Ye know quite well what I mean," he said firmly. "Kneel down by the bed and lift your skirts, lass."
"I'll do no such thing!" I took a good hold on the bedpost with both hands and wormed my way further into the corner.
Jamie watched me through narrowed eyes for a moment, debating what to do next. It occurred to me that there was nothing whatever to stop him doing anything he liked to me; he outweighed me by a good five stone. He at last decided on talk rather than action, though, and carefully laid the strap aside before crawling over the bedclothes to sit beside me.
"Now, Claire—" he began.
"I've said I'm sorry!" I burst out. "And I am. I'll never do such a thing again!"
"Well, that's the point," he said slowly. "Ye might. And it's because ye dinna take things as serious as they are. Ye come from a place where things are easier, I think. 'Tis not a matter of life or death where ye come from, to disobey orders or take matters into your own hands. At worst, ye might cause someone discomfort, or be a bit of a nuisance, but it isna likely to get someone killed." I watched his fingers pleating the brownish plaid of his kilt as he arranged his thoughts.
"It's the hard truth that a light action can have verra serious consequences in places and times like these—especially for a man like me." He patted my shoulder, seeing that I was close to tears.
"I know ye would never endanger me or anyone else on purpose. But ye might easily do so without meanin' it, like ye did today, because ye do not really believe me yet when I tell ye that some things are dangerous. You're accustomed to think for yourself, and I know," he glanced sidewise at me, "that you're not accustomed to lettin' a man tell ye what to do. But you must learn to do so, for all our sakes."
"All right," I said slowly. "I understand. You're right, of course. All right; I'll follow your orders, even if I don't agree with them."
"Good." He stood up, and picked up the belt. "Now then, get off the bed, and we'll get it over with."
My mouth dropped open in outrage. "What! I said I'd follow your orders!"