I wanted to ask her if the things I’d given her were still on the nightstand. If she was wearing one of my hoodies. But it would break my heart either way.
“So how is everyone?” she asked.
I rubbed my forehead. “They’re good. Kevin Bacon has a hashtag on Instagram now. Doug just sort of gave up keeping him locked up, so Kevin hangs out by the fudge shop begging for handouts and taking selfies with tourists.”
“So he’s living his best life.”
“Oh, yes.”
“And Hunter?”
I paused, debating if I should tell her how he’d actually been. “He’s good. He’s here, with me.”
He wasn’t. He was sleeping on the porch of the house, waiting for her to come home.
“Liz left Jake,” I said, changing the subject.
“She did?” Her voice brightened.
“Yeah. She showed up a few weeks ago with a black eye and Doreen. She took that stuff you were keeping for her. Brought it down to the police station in Rochester.”
“She got a restraining order?”
“Yup.” I scoffed. “But he violated it anyway. Came back looking for her. Pops pulled a gun on him.”
“What?”
“Right in the middle of Main Street, in front of everyone. Told him he would shoot his balls off if he ever came back.” I laughed a little. “Jake filed an assault charge, but nobody saw anything.”
She snorted. “Of course they didn’t.”
“Anyway, Liz had him arrested for violating the restraining order. Then I guess she had a bunch of other dirt on him. He got fired. He’ll be at least two years in jail. He won’t be back.”
“Good. What did Brian say?”
“He was happy. They went on a date last night, actually.”
I felt her beaming through the phone.
“I have it on the highest authority that Liz’s car was still parked outside of Brian’s house this morning,” I said.
“The highest authority?”
“Doug.”
She laughed.
“So that’s it then?” she said. “No more police presence in Wakan?”
“No, we have to have at least one. They sent us a new guy named Wade. He just parks the police cruiser by the walking path and plays on his phone. I think he’s bored out of his mind.”
“Well, maybe he’ll be better than Jake at curbing the teenager crime wave,” she said.
“Maybe.”
We went quiet again.
“How’s your new job?” I asked.
I pictured a shrug. “It’s a lot. I work fourteen-hour days. My feet hurt all the time.”
I didn’t want to tell her that if I was there, I’d rub them every night. I’d have a bath ready for her when she got home, I’d have her scrubs for tomorrow washed and pressed and laid out, dinner ready. I’d take care of her.
I felt a lump form in my throat.
Nobody was taking care of her. That hurt almost as much as the thought of some other guy doing it.
Almost.
She got quiet on the other end. We were quiet for so long I’d have thought we’d lost the call if I didn’t hear the occasional shift through the line. The rain outside my window filled the long silence, and I wished, so much, that she was with me. That she was lying next to me and I could smell her hair and wake up and make her breakfast. That all the things we talked about could be things we both already knew because we’d been together when they happened.
My chest felt tight, and I clutched a hand over my heart and squeezed.
I missed her so much it was physically painful. It was a form of grief. A withdrawal. Starvation.
It was unnatural. Because I wasn’t supposed to be without her. My eyes started to tear up.
There’s something more final than forever. It’s never. Never is infinite.
I would never see her again. I would never touch her again. I would never make her lunch or listen to her breathing while she slept. We’d never get married or have children or die on the same day. And I wouldn’t do those things with anyone because it would just be the poor man’s version of what I’d had with her and I’d always know that.
“Daniel…”
I had to swallow hard to answer. “Yeah?”
I heard her sniff in the darkness.
“Will you still come for me?” she asked quietly.
“What?” I asked gently.
“If there’s a zombie apocalypse. Will you come get me like you said?”
I had to move the phone away from my mouth. Tears squeezed from my eyes. “You mean if the world ends and none of this shit matters anymore?” I said, my voice thick.