“The worrying part or the looking for us part?”
She laughs. “Both.”
I smile, thinking I actually quite like it when Aidan comes looking for me. Hide-and-seek is my new favorite game because of him.
When we approach the table, Aidan and Jake abruptly stop talking. Judging by their body language and the tension in the air, we interrupted an argument. Deb and I take our seats, then there’s a long, awkward silence where nobody says anything or looks at each other.
When Jake scowls at my left hand, I have a feeling I know what the argument was about.
He says aggressively, “Can I ask you a question, Kayla?”
Aidan sends Jake a blistering glare and warns, “Leave it alone.”
“No, it’s okay,” I say. “Go ahead.”
He rests his forearms on the table and points at Aidan. “This man doesn’t deserve any bullshit.”
Aidan says through gritted teeth, “Jake.”
I say, “I agree, he doesn’t. What’s your question?”
“What are you doing?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean what are you doing with him,” he pauses to send a pointed stare to my ring finger, “when you’re obviously otherwise committed?”
Infuriated, Aidan turns to me. “Don’t answer that.” He turns back to Jake. “You’re out of fucking line.”
“He’s just watching out for you,” I say softly.
“I don’t need watching out for.”
As Aidan and Jake glare at each other, Deb rests her hand on Jake’s forearm. She says gently, “Honey. Let it go.”
Jake snaps, “The hell I will! He’s my best friend. I’ve watched him get shit on and beat up and kicked around by life for way too long. And he’s finally in a good place, after years of the worst this world has to offer.” He turns away from Deb and pins me in a cold stare. “Then you came along.”
He drops his gaze to my finger and stares accusingly at my wedding ring.
Aidan hisses, “For fuck’s sake!”
Mimicking Deb’s gesture, I rest my hand on Aidan’s tense forearm. My heart pounding, I look into Jake’s angry eyes and say quietly, “You asked what I’m doing. Here’s the answer. The best I can, like everyone else. I recently went through a huge transition. I’m not over it. I don’t know how long it will take to get over it. But in the meantime, I’m living my life and figuring it out. I’m taking things one day at a time, just trying to sort through all the confusion. But I’m not otherwise committed. There’s no one else.”
I turn to Aidan and gather my courage. “And today proved something to me. Seeing you with your arm around Deb, thinking you were with her…” I swallow around the lump in my throat. “I don’t want there to be anyone else. For either of us. I’m in way deeper than I thought, and to be totally honest, it scares the shit out of me.”
The emotion reflected in Aidan’s eyes is overwhelming.
Deb and Jake disappear. The restaurant disappears. Everything around us fades to black. There’s only me and Aidan sitting beside each other, looking at each other’s bared souls.
He says gruffly, “Me too. All of it. Me too.”
“I know,” I whisper, tears filling my eyes.
He takes my face in his hands. “But you don’t have to be scared. I’ll catch you when you fall. I’ll always catch you.”
He tears me apart and glues me back together again, all with a kiss.
Jake groans. “Well, fuck me. I guess now I’m the asshole.”
Deb says, “You’ll make up for it by paying for everyone’s dinner. Ah, and here’s the waitress with the appetizers now! Perfect timing. Let’s eat, guys.”
When Aidan pulls away from me, I catch a glimpse of a familiar figure in the large rectangular mirror mounted on the wall behind our table. A tall, gaunt man in a gray trench coat with a hat pulled low over his eyes stands near the front door of the restaurant. Though I can’t see his eyes, I feel him staring in my direction.
By the time I turn around to look at him, he’s gone.
29
“Kayla? You okay?”
Aidan glances over his shoulder, following my gaze. I turn back quickly to the table and force a smile. “I just thought I saw someone I knew.”
It isn’t a lie. And it’s not as if I’m going to sit here and admit the someone I thought I knew may or may not be a ghost, so I’ll just keep this stupid smile on my face until my heartbeat returns to normal and I can stop the screaming inside my head.