Killian: What about your girl? Any pictures with her?
I sigh and stare at the text.
My girl.
If only that were the truth.
But it seems as though, no matter what I say or do, it’s not going to change anything. She’ll always hold what happened against me. And even though it’s frustrating, I also understand where she’s coming from. She’s had such a difficult time with trust throughout her entire life, and then I go and break what little trust she’d given me.
Do I wish she’d been able to fight past those feelings and rebuild with me?
Yes.
But I know there’s no chance I’m going to be able to change her mind.
She’s set.
We’re over.
Pike: Not my girl.
Killian: What are you talking about? I thought things were going well.
Pike: So did I, but we had a fight today and I realized there’s no hope for us. She’s not going to forgive me. As much as I wish she would, she’s not going to let it go.
Killian: Ah, mate. I’m sorry.
Pike: She’s going to leave. School starts up in a few days, but I’m not going to be able to teach until the doctor clears me. I’m wondering if I should return to England, tail tucked between my legs.
Killian: Is that what you want?
Pike: I don’t think I can stay here. Maybe I can get a teaching job in London, or go to Edinburgh with Aggie. I just need the hell out of here.
Killian: Are you okay?
A gut-wrenching pain sears through me as I shake my head.
Pike: No, mate. No, I’m not.
Killian: Do you want me to come there? It’s a short flight.
Pike: A short flight? What are you talking about?
Killian: I’m in NYC on business. I can be in Chicago in a few hours.
It’s tempting. Killian can come here, help me on a plane. I’m feeling a little more agile. I can find a doctor in England. And I can forget all of this ever happened.
My eyes fall on the picture of me and Keiko.
What about Keiko?
Would she understand?
This evening, she patted me on the shoulder and said in a very monotone voice that she knows how much I adore Coraline and wishes Cora could open her eyes. I appreciated the sentiment, but I believe there’s no one on this earth who can help Cora except herself.
And that’s the reason I need to leave, because I can’t possibly be around her, share the same friends, see her around school, knowing damn well she loves me but is too fearful to fall into that love again.
I start texting Killian back when there’s a creak on the stairs. I glance up and see Cora, clad in sweatshirt and sweatpants, suitcase in hand.
My heart tumbles down my ribs and to the pit of my stomach, crashing and burning.
Nothing needs to be said in this moment. There’s nothing else I can say other than “I love you, please don’t leave, I didn’t mean it,” but begging will do nothing.
She’s immune to it.
So instead, I turn back to my mobile and finish typing a text to Killian.
“Did Keiko leave?” she asks, her voice coming off timid, a contrast to the anger I heard earlier.
“Yeah,” I say.
“Okay.” She doesn’t say anything else, nor does she move.
I glance up from my mobile once more and take in her nervous swaying. “Is there something you need before you go?” I ask.
Her eyes flash to mine, and she nods. She walks into the living room, reaches into the pocket of her hoodie, and sets a black box on the coffee table.
The ring.
How the hell did she find that?
When I was cleaning the other day, I found it in my backpack and wrapped it in a T-shirt before shoving it into my sock drawer, not wanting her to find it.
“What were your plans with that ring, Pike?”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“I mean . . . were you really going to propose to me?”
“I wouldn’t get a ring if I wasn’t,” I say.
“How? Why?”
“How? Well, Christmas Eve at the skating rink. I picked out a bench under a tree sprinkled in lights that would’ve been perfect. Keiko was going to take pictures for me of the moment. And why? Isn’t it obvious? I fucking love you, Coraline, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But I’ve said that far too much, now, haven’t I?”
“You got that, uh, you got that before your dad approached me?”
I lean forward and rest my arms on my legs. “Yes, because like I’ve been saying, my intentions are pure with you. Because even though I pressed you to stay married to me for a different reason, after a week, I knew I was getting to know you for a real reason, because I liked you, and I knew I would be making a huge mistake if I didn’t get to know you. My father hates losing, and he was so determined to win against me that he had someone tracking us. Taking photos. Trying to discredit me so he could take my position on the board and abolish the foundation. It’s why I proposed stepping down from Rabid Readers, suggesting Aggie take my position. I did that for us, Cora. I removed the ace my pa felt he had up his sleeve. I had no idea he’d come here to . . . to ruin me. And losing you? That ruined me. That he’d ruin your trust in me by choosing to tell you only some elements of the situation, but not others.” I take a deep breath, because I need her to hear me. “You’re special. You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met. You’re so vibrant, full of life, with a stubborn streak that could drive any person nuts, but the stubbornness is what draws me to you. And your heart is fucking gold. So beautiful, so soulful. That’s my truth.” I point to the ring. “And when I bought that ring, it was because I wanted to hold on to that happiness for the rest of my life. I know when there’s a good thing in my life, I need to hold on to it. You’re that good thing.”