“I wouldn’t be surprised if your fruitful fetus has a set of puppet strings inside your uterus and is the master of your movements,” Stella says, a small smile playing at her lips.
Keiko directs her attention toward Stella. “I don’t see how fabricated fables are of any use.”
Stella crosses her legs and leans back in her chair. “Yeah, I think I’m done helping.”
Keiko lets out a guffaw. “Rather laughable that you perceive your commentary as assistance.”
“You know what, Keeks—”
“Shhh,” Greer says, holding up her hand. “I think we all need to take a deep breath. We don’t want to say anything we don’t mean.”
“Or articulate completely inane remarks by the ton.” Keiko lifts her chin.
Not wanting Stella to strike a pregnant woman, I hold up the brown bag that’s in my hand. “What’s this?”
“Oh, on the way here, we picked up a pregnancy test. It’s why Keiko is carrying around a jug of water, so she can pee on a stick and we can make sure she’s pregnant,” Greer says in an even tone.
“Either she’s pregnant, or the alien that’s been living inside of her has finally decided to vacate the vessel,” Stella says.
Keiko goes to open her mouth, but Greer snatches the bag from me and thrusts it at her. “I’m sure you have to pee by now. Why don’t you go try?”
“There is in fact a need to urinate pressing against my urethra.”
What a roundabout way to say she has to pee. Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever understand her. Not sure I ever want to.
“Okay.” Greer helps Keiko off the floor. “Why don’t you do that?”
“It will take me at least five minutes to thoroughly read through the directions.”
“It’s simple, Keeks. Just pee on the stick,” I say.
“Conducting unknown ventures is never that rudimentary, Cora.” And then she disappears into the bathroom.
The moment the door clicks shut, Greer, Stella, and I all converge in the kitchen so she can’t hear our conversation.
Whispering, Stella says, “I’m going to murder her.”
“She is quite snippy today.” Greer worries her lip.
“Hey,” I snap at the both of them. “What the hell are you doing here? I thought I told you specifically that Keiko isn’t allowed to know about Pike.”
“Is he here?” Greer asks, genuinely looking around the small space.
“Does it look like there’s an Englishman lurking around the two-by-two space of Cora’s apartment?” Stella asks.
“I have no clue where the hell he is. Last he said, he was picking up dinner for us. I have no idea when he’ll be home and I can’t have a hysterical woman—”
“Cora, there is a male’s shaving device in this bathroom. Are you in a courtship unbeknownst to me?” Keiko calls out from the bathroom.
I squeeze my eyes shut out of pure desperation.
“No,” I say. “I like how they shave better. You know how it is, the pink tax and all. Men’s stuff is always better.”
“Misogyny at its finest,” she shouts back, but then leaves it at that.
I point toward the bathroom. “And that’s exactly why I can’t have her here. What were you two thinking?”
“You realize that we have no ability to control her, right?” Stella asks. “It’s nearly impossible to get her to do something right now. I truly believe the baby is controlling her and when it comes out, it’ll rule the world by the time it’s six months old.” Leaning in closer, Stella whisper shouts, “I’m terrified.”
Greer grabs both of us and says, “We all need to calm—”
“Why did you guys come here?”
Greer sighs. “Because she wanted to. Because she’s scared. Because she has no idea what’s happening to her even though she’s the most intelligent person we know. She wanted us to be around her when she finds out, and as we are her friends, I think that’s a decent request.”
Guilt swarms me as I realize Greer is right.
“Shit, I’m sorry.” I press my hand to my forehead. “I’m freaking out and my head isn’t in the right space at the moment.”
“It’s understandable,” Greer says. “How are things with Pike?”
I lean against the counter and keep my voice low. “Honestly, I feel like I’ve made the smallest of dents in wearing him down, but I almost feel as if he’s planning another wave of attack, and I don’t know what he’s going to do.”