I’ve loved him. I’ve hated him. I’ve done everything in between.
As for now? Well, I’m not sure what to say.
“Willow?” he says. “It’s a simple question. Do you trust me?”
My mind whirls, but I dig deep. And Leo is right. Underneath layers of questions and fears, the answer is simple. At the root of me, I know the truth. I know what I feel in my bones.
“Yes.” My shoulders collapse. I bite back a sob. “I trust you.”
He runs his thumb over the corner of my lips. “Then trust that I know what I’m doing.”
“I do, but… it goes both ways, Leo,” I remind him. “If I have to give you my trust, then you have to do the same for me.”
“What do you have in mind?”
“We tell him yes. I’ll tell him I ran from you,” I explain hurriedly, before he can intervene. “I’ll tell him I accept his deal. I’ll make sure our son is safe and when I get close enough to him… I’ll make my move.”
Leo’s arched eyebrow tells me plainly enough what he thinks of my wild plan.
“I’m not some shrinking wallflower, you know,” I bristle. “I may not be as skilled as Ariel or you, but I can hold my own in a fight. Especially because he won’t see it coming.”
“If it were that easy, don’t you think he’d be dead already?” Leo asks. “Ariel would have killed him a thousand times over if that were the case.”
“He won’t expect it from me.”
“You’re my wife. Anya’s daughter. Of course he’ll be expecting it from you,” he snaps. “Think, Willow. You’re going to get yourself killed right along with Pasha. I can’t lose you both.”
I can’t lose you both. His words still me. Now who’s the one who’s not thinking clearly? It’s hard to imagine Leo being afraid. I don’t think he’s capable of it. But this feels awfully close.
“I’ll be okay,” I whisper. “It’s a good plan. I know it.”
I look him in the eyes. They’re swimming with clouded, turbulent emotions. I’m sure mine look exactly the same.
But for one moment, it feels like we might break through. Like a ray of light is almost there, ready to burst through the storm clouds. A ray of trust. A ray of hope.
A ray of love.
Then it falters, and the storm rages on. “You don’t know anything,” he snaps.
I pull away from him and start towards the mountain path. He’s not going to listen to me, and I can’t listen to him. Especially when I know I’m right.
He strides up beside me. “You’re acting like a child, Willow.”
“Leave me alone.”
“So you can run off to Belov and get killed?” he asks. “Fat chance.”
“Like you care?” I shoot back. “You’re just interested in keeping Pasha alive to preserve your legacy. You’re not impotent like Belov. If he and I die, you have plenty of women willing to make you more babies.”
His hand clamps around my arm and pulls me to face him. I gasp, but bite it off as he towers over me.
His face is black with fury. I was angry and I said something I didn’t mean, but I can’t take it back. The words are lodged in my throat.
And he can see it. He can see I’m not backing down. After all, I learned the art of that from him.
“If that’s what you think of me,” he hisses, “then maybe you’re better off with Belov.”
He drops my arm just as suddenly as he grabbed it and leaves me alone on the path.
31
LEO
“Can I come in?”
I throw Gaiman a cursory glance and a grunt that he decides to interpret as permission. He slips in and closes the door behind me.
“Is there a reason it’s so dark in here?”
“The blinds are down.”
He shoots me an annoyed look. “Yeah, I got that bit. You done with that drink?”
I down the last sip and hold out my glass. “You can pour me another.”
“Your wish is my command,” he mutters, refilling my glass and handing it back over.
Then he gets himself one and fills it halfway. We sit and drink together. There’s nothing like a silent drink in good company. Correction: there’s nothing like a silent drink in silent company.
That’s the nice thing about Gaiman. He respects my boundaries and my moods. Jax always bounds in like a golden retriever puppy, doing tricks to cheer me up.
Only when our glasses are empty does Gaiman speak. “You okay?”