All I can do is nod my head. I want more answers, no matter how painful they are. It might not be easy but I need closure about my father, and that will never happen if I run away. But I can’t deal with Matteo for the rest of today. If I do, I might break into a thousand pieces, and I’m not ready for that kind of devastating experience.
Heartbreak is better dealt with in private, away from those who made it happen in the first place.
44
Chloe
I’m on a warpath by the time I get back to Santiago’s house. My tears have dried on my cheeks, leaving behind streaks in my blush. Santiago isn’t in the doorway when I return. I’m somewhat grateful because it gives me the ability to think over what he did.
I step into my bedroom and leave the door open, not caring if Santiago walks inside.
It doesn’t take him long to find me. I’d pity him for the shitstorm he entered, but he is the cause of it after all.
“What’s going on?” His eyebrows draw together as he assesses my luggage on the bed.
“I’m leaving.” My voice is wooden.
The thump of his iWalk fills the silence. “What? Why?”
I shrug before throwing my clothes into my luggage, not caring how they land as long as they make it in there. I’m desperate to make this process as painless for me as possible. I’m no coward in the face of pain, but even I have my limits. And this man right here is the ultimate test of them.
“Matteo told me about my dad.” I throw a pair of sneakers with a little extra oomph into my luggage, and they smack against my clothes.
“What do you mean? Look at me.” Santiago presses a tentative hand on my shoulder.
I wince at his touch, and he drops his hand. “Don’t pretend you don’t know. He told me everything, including how you knew for days about my real father and didn’t tell me. If there is one thing I ask of you during this conversation, it’s to not pretend anymore. I think I’ve had enough of your lies to last me a lifetime.” My hoarse voice cracks. I blink back the tears threatening to leak out of my eyes.
I might have cried with Matteo, but I refuse to cry in front of Santiago. He is the last person who deserves my tears, especially when he’s the reason for them in the first place.
“Chloe, please listen to me. I didn’t lie to you.”
I spin on my feet. “To me, withholding the truth is the same thing as lying; it doesn’t matter how you want to validate it in your head. You knew Matteo’s true identity and you said nothing. You let me go about my days like nothing happened. And worse, you let me believe my dad was really alive, and that’s just cruel.”
He recoils. “I didn’t want to. I told him to tell the truth and he didn’t listen. You have to believe me. When you went to his house for the first time, he was supposed to tell you. That was the plan.”
Everything clicks together. “You knew. That’s why you wanted to come with me.”
He nods, becoming visibly uncomfortable as my scowl deepens.
“And that’s why you pounced on me when I got back. And asked me a hundred questions. You knew, even then.”
He lets out a deep breath. “Yes.”
I place a hand on the bed, needing the stability. “And what did you do when you realized he didn’t tell me the truth?”
“I went over there and told him that he had no choice but to tell you the real story. That you have the right to know that your dad passed away. The man wanted to pretend he was your father permanently for fuck’s sake. Without me, who knows what he would’ve done. I was only doing what I thought was the best choice to make sure you heard it from the right person.”
“You should’ve told me the moment you found out. I thought we were close. That we got one another.” My voice breaks, matching the feeling inside of me. Everything hurts as I manage my thoughts.
“Of course we are close. I love you. There’s nothing closer than that.” He takes a step toward me.
I take one back, hitting the nightstand with my butt. “If you loved me, you wouldn’t have pretended to my face that Matteo was my dad. I told you stories about him. We laughed about the craziness he shared with me. How did you sit there and act like you didn’t know all this time?”
He throws his hands in the air. “I was trying to protect you! I thought it would be better to hear it from him rather than me.”
“Why?”
“Because I was afraid to hurt you. I knew it would destroy you to learn about your dad from me.”