Pip released Dominic and held him at arm’s length whilst she considered him. His hair was slightly longer than usual. He must have missed his barber’s appointments without her to nag him to go, but apart from that he looked just the same; a little more tired, perhaps.
She found his hand with hers and pulled him out of the kitchen and away from her mother. She felt him following behind her as they made their way down the dark corridor to the snug. A cheery fire was burning in the grate, as it did most days, no matter what the season. The farm’s old tomcat was stretched out luxuriously on the hearth rug and didn’t stir as the two of them entered the room,
Pip pulled Dominic down on to the sofa and leaned in to kiss him. He kissed her back, but with a chaste little peck rather than anything more passionate. He perhaps felt a little awkward, being not much more than a stranger here, Pip thought. And they hadn’t seen each other for a while. They would need to reconnect, but there would be plenty of time to relax. They had the whole weekend ahead of them.
‘So, Rose,’ he said. ‘How are you doing? You still surviving up here in the arse end of nowhere?’
It was strange to hear her London name used here in Suffolk now. It was already starting to jar in her ears.
‘It’s bearable – just,’ she said. ‘But I think I’m getting there. I mean, no huge leaps or anything. It’s a slow process, but I do think I’m a bit better.’
Was this true? She wasn’t sure, but she knew it was what he wanted to hear. He was impatient for improvement, and so she needed to feed him something.
‘But enough about me,’ she added. ‘What’s going on at home? What’s the gossip? God, I wish I’d known you were coming. You could have brought me some different underwear. And shoes now it’s getting a bit warmer. I’ve only got boots here. It’s so weird to have all my things in London and me stuck . . .’
Her sentence trickled to an end and he let it, without attempting to address any of her questions. Something wasn’t right here, but Pip wasn’t sure what it was.
She tried again. ‘And how’s work going?’ Work was the one subject that could be guaranteed to get him talking. ‘Are you busy?’
Dominic nodded, pulling at his earlobe in a way Pip had always found endearing, but that she now suspected might be a tell of some sort.
‘Yes,’ he replied. ‘We’re all pretty pushed. It’s all decent stuff, too. Some high-profile instructions.’
Pip felt her heart tug a little. She missed her old life, the competitive edge that cut across everything, even between the two of them. But at the same time, having Dominic here and thinking about work was starting to make her chest constrict. She took a deep breath to calm herself. The last thing she needed was an episode now, just as she was trying to convince him that she was getting better.
‘Who’s picking up my cases?’ she asked, though she really couldn’t bear to hear the answer.
‘Priti,’ he said. ‘She’s doing well, actually, catching on quick.’
Another stab to Pip’s heart. Priti was junior to her and, worse than that, had been sniffing around Dominic for some time, always there with a ready smile and an offer of help when the opportunity arose. The last thing Pip needed was her colleague filling her shoes, on either score.
Dominic shuffled a little in his seat and cleared his throat.
‘Listen, Rose, I didn’t come here to talk about work,’ he said, and Pip felt herself relax a little. She didn’t want to confess to Dominic just how anxious this talk was making her feel. It was much better if their conversation drifted away from the subject of work to something less tricky, even if it was a little mundane. She smiled at him and moved across to lean her head on his shoulder, but he pulled away from her.
‘Look—’ he said, and then stopped.
He chewed at the inside of his lip and Pip waited, her heart starting to pound again. Had something gone wrong at work? Was she going to be in trouble when she got back?
‘The thing is . . . ’ he continued. Another pause. He ran his hand through his dark hair. ‘Shit, this is hard.’
‘What’s hard?’ she asked. ‘What’s the matter? Is there something wrong? Are you ill?’
‘It’s not that,’ he said.
Pip was at a loss now. There was nothing she could think of that would justify this nervousness.
‘Whatever it is, Dom, I’m sure we can sort it out,’ she said softly.
He swallowed hard.