“Might want to let Dad know. He thinks you still think about Nate.”
Mom pauses. “Well, I did. It’s natural. But I hadn’t in a very, very long time—until you married his daughter.”
She stands and shoulders her purse. “You’re everything I hoped for. You’re all of it. You’re the best mix of your father and me, and I couldn’t be more proud of the man you’re becoming. But as cocksure as you’re acting, you have plenty of growing up left to do. We, as your parents, deserve better, and your wife does too. You want to be a married grown-up, fine, grow the fuck up. Your father and I aren’t at fault here, and I’m done trying to bridge this. This is a conscious decision you made, knowing the hurt it would cause. Try and simplify love all you want, Easton, but you’re still just a punk-ass twenty-two-year-old kid. Try living with the intensity of the love you feel for years, only to lose it to another you feel just as much for, and then come to me and tell me how fucking simple it is. You made a decision, son. Now you have to live with it.”
Tossing my bottle, it shatters against the wall as I stand and face off with my furious mother. “Okay, Mom. I’ll stop loving her. I’ll start fucking groupies and live an empty existence like the little rock star you raised me to be. Maybe I’ll come home addicted to something fun for Christmas.”
The slap across my jaw echoes throughout the room as her eyes spill over. She’s at the door when I catch her.
“Mom.” I circle her waist and pull her body to me as it shakes with her cries. “Please, Mom. I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”
Sniffing, she turns and hugs my waist, holding onto me just as tightly. “I see and feel how much you’re hurting,” she cries, “but I can’t control how everyone else feels. No matter how much I want to ease your pain, I can’t make this go away.”
Terrified I’ve pushed her too far, I run a soothing hand down her back.
“I’m sorry, I am,” I say. “I didn’t mean it.”
“Some of it you did, and that’s okay. Jesus, I feel so helpless right now. My baby’s hurting, my husband is hurting, I don’t know how to fix this.”
“We’ll figure it out, Mom, we will. I just…” I swallow. “I love her.” My eyes burn. “I can’t stop it, no matter who it hurts.”
She nods and pulls away, cupping my burning jaw. “Crownes don’t know how to love halfway, do they?” I shake my head. “God, baby. What if she breaks your heart?”
“She already is,” I say. “She doesn’t realize she’s choosing him.”
“And you’re sure giving her the choice is the right thing?”
“She has to be the one to make it, or else she’ll blame me.”
She nods. “Please, please, beautiful boy. Please don’t shut me out anymore. Easton, I miss us.”
“Me too,” I confess honestly. “I’ll come by the hotel tomorrow morning and talk to Dad, okay?”
“Really?”
“Yeah,” My voice cracks as my eyes continue to burn. “I promise.”
The truth is I’m lost. I need him more now than I have in some time.
“Okay,” she sniffs. “Well, I’m sorry I broke up the party.”
“I’m not,” I say. “I’m glad you came to the show.”
“You’re incredible, Easton,” she laughs. “Even when you’re bitching your mother out on stage.”
We share a smile.
“You sure you don’t want to talk some more? Are you hungry?” She asks, reading my expression as I duck away.
“No, I’m going to head back to the hotel, get a run in, and some sleep.”
“Okay,” she kisses my jaw before stepping away. “I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
She gives me a hint of a smile. “It was an incredible show tonight.”
“Did you feel my disconnect?” I ask as she opens the door. She pauses and turns back to me.
“Only because I know you. But they had no idea, I promise.”
“I don’t want to act out there,” I say.
“That’s something for your dad to help you with.”
“Point taken. I promise I’ll be there tomorrow.”
“I’m so proud of you, baby.”
The sentiment rings in my chest. “I feel it,” I say honestly.
Freshly showered and back at the hotel, I flip open the manuscript I tucked in my messenger bag and only get a few pages in before closing it. Even now, I don’t want to know Nate Butler’s fucking love story with my mother.