I should probably wash it more.
“Rose has the best hair,” Daisy says. “It’s the perfect length and super shiny.”
“Yeah, but I think she combs it a hundred times a day. Like the mean girl from The Little Princess.”
Daisy’s lips twitch with a smile. “Did you just compare our sister to a villain?”
“Hey, a villain with good hair,” I defend. “She would appreciate that.” At least, I hope so.
Daisy finishes off her cigarette and snubs it in a crystal ashtray on the fireplace mantel. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“You keep saying that.”
“Well I am. You’re always so busy. I feel like we really haven’t talked much since you left for college.”
I feel even worse. Being so much younger than Poppy, Rose, and me must have been isolating and lonely. Me being an addict and shunning my entire family hasn’t helped. “I’m glad I’m here too,” I tell her with a large, honest smile. Even if this may be my biggest test since Lo’s absence, at least I know I did something right. Coming here, spending time with Daisy, it is progress. Just a different kind.
All of a sudden, her eyes light up. “I have an idea.” She grabs my hand before I can protest. We exit the apartment and head for the hallway. She sprints towards the stairwell, tugging me along in tow.
I’m just getting used to this new impulsive Daisy. Who, Rose informed me, has apparently been around for the past two years. When we moved into our new house, we invited Daisy to help decorate. On her tour through the four-bedroom villa, she spotted the pool in the backyard. No mind that it’s still winter. A mischievous smile warped her face, and she climbed out of Rose’s bedroom window, onto the roof and prepared to jump in the water from three stories high.
I didn’t think she would do it. I told Rose, “Don’t worry. It’s probably just an attention thing.”
But she stripped into her underwear, took a running start, and splashed into the pool. When her head popped up, she wore the biggest, goofiest “Daisy” grin. Rose almost killed her. My jaw permanently unhinged.
And she floated on her back, barely even shivering.
Rose said when our mother isn’t around, Daisy tends to go crazy. And not the I’m going to drink my sorrows away and snort some coke rebellion. She just does things that our mother would condemn, and Daisy probably knows we’re more forgiving. When Rose saw that Daisy survived the jump without a bruise, she simply called her stupid and then let the issue drop. Our mother would have ranted for a solid hour, flipping out over any injuries that could have ruined her modeling career.
More than anything, I think Daisy just wants to be free.
I guess I was lucky enough to escape my mother’s strict scrutiny. But maybe not. I didn’t turn out perfect. One could even say that I am royally fucked up.
We climb the stairs to the highest floor, and Daisy turns the doorknob, the biting cold prickling my bare arms. The roof. She took me to the roof.
“You’re not planning on jumping are you?” I immediately ask with wide eyes. “There are no pools for you to land in this time.”
She snorts. “No duh.” She lets go of my hand and sets her beer on the gravel ground. “Do you see this view?”
Skyscrapers light up the city, and people even explode fireworks off other buildings, the colors crackling in the sky for tonight’s celebration. Cars honk below, kind of drowning out the majestic atmosphere of the night.
Daisy extends her arms and inhales deeply. And then she screams at the top of her lungs. “HAPPY NEW YEAR, NEW YORK CITY!” It’s only ten thirty, so technically it’s still New Year’s Eve. Her head turns to me. “Scream, Lil.”
I rub my hot neck, anxious. Maybe it’s the lack of sex. Or maybe sex is the one thing that’ll help me feel better. So…is sex the cause or is it the solution? I don’t even know anymore. “I’m not a screamer.” Lo would disagree. My cheeks flush.
Daisy faces me and says, “Come on, it’ll make you feel better.”
Doubtful.
“Open your mouth wide,” she teases. “Come on, big sis.”
Am I the only one who thinks that sounded perverted? I look over my shoulder. Oh yeah, we’re alone.
“Scream it with me.” She bounces on her toes, preparing to say “Happy” but she stops when I don’t share her enthusiasm for the holiday. “You’ve got to loosen up, Lily. Rose is supposed to be the uptight one.” She grabs my hand. “Come on.” She leads me closer to the ledge.