I look at my distance from the wall and then hers. Two more steps and she’s on the ledge. “No thank you.” I’m ecstatic she’s answering my questions correctly, but I feel a little guilty I’m sucking at hers. I think she knew I’d fail at this game.
Maybe she wants to lose, and this way, I can’t tell her to jump down. Not if it’s all part of the game. Jesus, I hope that’s not the case. But my stomach sinks at the thought. It seems more and more likely it is.
“What’s my middle name?” I try an easy one.
“Martha,” she says with a laugh. “Lily Martha Calloway. Doesn’t it suck to be named after our grandmother?”
“Look who’s talking, Petunia.” She was saddled with a second flower name.
“You know what boys always ask me?”
“What?”
“Have you been deflowered?”
I’ve heard that one before.
Her eyes meet mine briefly. “Have I?”
The cold nips my neck. “Is that my next question?”
She nods.
“You’re a virgin,” I say, hesitant. Right? The last we talked about this, we played a game on our family’s yacht, and both Daisy and Rose said their V cards were still intact.
She takes a step forward, her boots hitting the ledge.
Whaaa… “You’re lying,” I say with huge, round eyes. When the hell did she lose her virginity? To whom?!
She shakes her head and her hair flaps in the wind. She tucks a strand behind her ear.
“Was it Josh?”
“No,” she says lightly, as if it’s not a big deal. Maybe not for me, it wasn’t. I’ve actually tried to suppress the memory of my first time. It was awkward, and it hurt a little. Whenever I think about it, I start to blush. So I’ve buried it deep, deep in the recesses of my mind.
“Who? When? Are you okay?”
“A couple months ago. I don’t know…girls had been talking about sex in class, how they’ve had it and stuff. I just wanted to see what it would be like. It was okay, I guess. Definitely not as fun as doing this.” She wags her eyebrows playfully.
“But who…？” My eyes may literally pop out of my face. Please don’t be like me, is all I can think.
“A model. We did a shoot together, and he moved back to Sweden, so don’t worry, you won’t run into him here.”
I am learning so much about Daisy in one night. It’s hard to digest. I feel like I’ve just gorged myself on Five Guys Burgers and Fries, close to puking a little.
“How old is he?” Please don’t be statutory rape. I don’t know if I can hold in that secret.
“Seventeen.”
I relax. “Does Rose know?”
Daisy shakes her head. “No, I haven’t told anyone that I lost it. You’re the first. You won’t say anything, right? Mom would kill me.”
“No, but…if you start having sex, you should be careful.”
“I know.” She nods a lot. “Do you think…do you think you can take me to the clinic? I kinda want to be on birth control.”
“Yeah, I’ll take you.” Another secret I’ll have to keep from the family, but this one I’ll gladly take. Unplanned pregnancy can be avoided, and girls shouldn’t feel ashamed to be on the pill. “Just promise you won’t go crazy and have sex with a bunch of random guys.” Because I would and look how awesome I turned out.
“Ew, I wouldn’t do that.” She scrunches her nose, and the bottom of my stomach drops. And this is why I can’t tell anyone else in my family about my addiction. Rose was right. They just wouldn’t understand. “Will I go to college?” she asks another question for our game. I can’t even remember if it’s her turn or mine.
“I can’t predict the future.”
“Do I want to go to college then?”
“That…is a very good question…that I do not have the answer to. Do you?”
She shakes her head. “No. Not yet anyway. I’m ready to be eighteen and do shoots without Mom there. I’ll be able to go to France alone and see the city without Mom scheduling my whole itinerary. You know, this year she wouldn’t even let me see the Louvre.”
“That sucks.”
Daisy nods. “Yeah, it blows.” Then her boot sets on the cement ledge. My heart lurches into my throat.
“Okay, game over!” I throw up my hands. “Let’s go back inside.”
Daisy grins from ear to ear and stands, perched on the fucking ledge with a twenty-story drop off. She straightens up and outstretches her arms. “I AM A GOLDEN GOD!”