“Don’t mistake harshness for cruelty,” Death tells his daughter. “The truth often hurts, but it is still the truth.”
More silence follows as everyone goes back to eating, the clink of cutlery on iron plates filling the space.
Kalma leans in close. “Have some more wine,” he says softly. He smells like mothballs. “It will help you.”
I nod and reach for my glass, downing the rest in one gulp. Then I raise the chalice, looking around for the Deadmaiden in red. She glides on over to me in a ghostly way and fills my cup. Well, if I’m going to keep being reminded of how shitty my life is going to be for eternity, I guess I can always stay drunk for eternity.
While I drink, Lovia talks to Death about something, but I’m not really listening, and I don’t think he is either. I can feel him watching me, his eyes never leaving my face. I don’t know what he’s thinking, and I don’t care to, he’s already an extremely confusing person. Being. God. Whatever.
Eventually, I have a few bites of food, after I’m already feeling pretty drunk, and while the roast swan and the dishes taste incredible, I make sure not to say anything complimentary.
I motion for the Deadmaiden to bring me more wine and this time when she does, her voice slices into my head.
He likes to think he’s not cruel, an old woman’s voice says, but the real truth is that he is. Death is cruel, no matter how you view it—or him.
I glance up at her but can’t see anything beyond the red veil.
Her head twists slightly to me. My name is Harma. I’m the head of the Deadmaidens. And I am your ally, mortal one.
Then she quickly leaves and I’m looking around subtly, trying to figure out if anyone else heard that or just me.
No one is paying attention. Lovia is eating and Surma and Kalma are talking about something. But Death, of course he’s been watching me. Studying me. The hair at the back of my neck begins to rise, as if his gaze is getting more intense, then heat starts to build between my legs, making me squeeze my thighs together.
Holy shit. What was that?
I look away from Death and down at the wine. He couldn’t have made me feel that just by looking at me, could he have?
There it is again. A sharp ache where all the blood is rushing to my core and I’m shifting in my seat, trying to get rid of this very unwanted rush of desire.
Death suddenly gets to his feet, tossing a napkin on the table. “I think our guest of honor may have had too much to drink,” he says.
I stare at him, my body wavering slightly. Maybe I am pretty drunk. Maybe it’s not him at all and it’s the wine that’s making me aroused. Wouldn’t be the first time alcohol has done that to me.
Death walks over to me and before I can protest, he’s grabbing me by my arms pulling me up to my feet with ease. I rock back and forth on my heels, wooziness sweeping over me, but he holds me in place, his grip strong.
Lovia gets up too and Raila floats forward out of the darkness, but Death just raises his palm. “I will take her safely to her room. The rest of you remain here, I’ll be back in a moment.”
He puts his arm around my waist and then I’m practically swept out of the dining room and into the hall. I try to fight him off, but I’m drunker than I thought.
“I’m not too drunk,” I protest.
“But you are,” he says smoothly, leading me up the steps. “And while I don’t mind you getting out of your head for a little bit, being drunk can be dangerous here. You must always keep your wits about you.”
“Why?” I ask. “Who am I to be wary of? You, or someone else?”
I think back to Harma’s words. I am your ally.
But is she really? Or is she a trap?
I decide to not mention it, regardless.
“You should always be wary of me,” he says. “But I am not the biggest threat to your life. And while I can protect you, I’m still not decided on if I should.”
We round the staircase and go down the hall to my room. The further we go, the more I relax into his hold. His presence is so overwhelming, I nearly feel stunned in his grasp. Maybe I’m just drunk, maybe he’s got some natural power over me, some sort of pheromones that smell like a bonfire on the beach.
Don’t succumb to Death, I tell myself. It’s counteractive to living.
He brings me to my door and unlocks it and I try to see where on his person he puts the key.
“Ah,” he says. “If you’re planning to steal a key from me, you have to be more subtle than that.”
He pushes the door open and then presses me against the frame. I feel so tiny and frail with his huge body lording over me, that black shiny wolf mask reflecting candlelight. And try as I might, I still can’t see his eyes.