“Really.” He gets up on his elbow and smiles down at me before leaning in and brushing his mouth over mine. “I’m going to check the fire and start coffee.”
“I’ll get up and start packing.” I wrap my arms around his neck, wanting another kiss, and he grins, giving me what I want, so I let my arms fall away.
“Do you want coffee?”
“Yes, please.” I sit up as he unzips his sleeping bag.
As he stands, I watch his muscles move under his smooth skin as he grabs his cargo pants to pull them on, then bends to grab a fresh shirt and put it on over his head. Once he’s dressed, he puts on his boots, gives me a smile that makes me feel tingles in a few different places, and ducks out of the tent. When he zips the door closed, I imagine a scenario just like this, only with him leaving me in a big comfy bed while going to a kitchen to make coffee; then I remember that won’t be happening, and my heart sinks into my stomach.
Tomorrow will be my last morning waking up with him, since the final day of our trip will be spent at the lodge, where we’ll be celebrating making it through the week with dinner, a night of relaxing, and sleeping in rooms there. Dropping my face into my hands, I close my eyes. I don’t know how or when, but somewhere along the way, I forgot this situation is temporary. In just a few short days, I’ll be going home, and when I do, things between Tanner and me will end just as quickly as they started.
“Darn.” I sigh, feeling beyond disappointed as I crawl out of my sleeping bag. I really need to be careful over the next couple of days, unless I want to go home with my heart more of a mess than it was when I got here. I just hope I’m not too late, because the truth is I’ve already started falling for Tanner. I like spending time with him, I like the way he makes me feel safe while pushing me to try new things, and in the very short time we’ve known each other, I’ve grown accustomed to the easy affection between us. But if I let things continue on, I won’t know up from down.
Sitting in a kayak, with Oliver in the seat in front of me, I try to ignore the heat I feel coming from my left, where I know Tanner and Lauren are. I decided not to waste any time putting my plan to keep my heart safe into effect this morning. I thought that it would be almost impossible to stay away from Tanner, since he’s my partner, but Oliver and Lauren’s constant fighting gave me the excuse I needed.
Instead of listening to them argue, like I’ve done every day, I suggested that Lauren and I switch partners. Oliver agreed immediately, while Tanner, on the other hand, was less than pleased with the idea, and Lauren looked about ready to scratch my eyes out.
“I was going to guess that, since you asked to switch with Lauren today, things were not working out between you and Tanner. But the contemplative looks he keeps sending your way tell me that’s not the case,” Oliver says quietly, dragging me from my thoughts, and my paddle skips over the top of the water before I adjust my hold so it glides through the surface once more.
“Umm.” I chew my lower lip, not sure how to respond.
“What happened? Did you two have a fight?” he asks, looking at me over his shoulder.
“No, we didn’t fight. Nothing happened. I just thought—”
“Is it your ex?” he says, cutting me off, and I shake my head.
“No, it has nothing to do with my ex.” I rub my lips together, then admit, “I just realized that I don’t live here. I don’t even live close. This whole thing . . .”
“You realized that you could get hurt,” he fills in, and I nod, then realize he can’t see me.
“Yes,” I whisper, my stomach rolling at the reminder.
“When my ex and I met, she lived in Oklahoma, and I lived in Seattle. We spent our first year together in a long-distance relationship; then I proposed, and she moved in with me. If it’s meant to be, you can make it work.”
“I guess you’re right, but I’ve only known him a couple of days,” I say softly, not sure that he’s the best person to accept advice from. I’ve overheard Lauren talking, and from what I understand, Oliver and his ex are not even divorced, and yet he’s here with Lauren, trying to work on their relationship, which seems a little backward to me.
He turns to look at me over his shoulder once more, his gaze locking with mine. “I know I’m not the best person to give advice,” he says, obviously reading my mind. “But trust me: you should talk to Tanner about how you’re feeling. I think you might be surprised by what his response is, and you shouldn’t worry about how long you’ve known each other; there’s lots of time for that, and no one stays the same forever, so you’ll be learning new things about him all the time.”