“Oh.” I drop my eyes, not sure what to say.
“He got married,” she blurts, and I blink, positive that I heard her wrong.
“What?”
“I told myself that I would wait to tell you when you got home, but I just . . . I don’t want you to find out from someone else, or on social media, since it’s all everyone is talking about.” She takes a breath as I stand and make my way farther down the beach. “He . . . God, Cybil, he married Chris in Vegas the day you left for Montana.”
“Chris,” I repeat, trying to wrap my mind around what she’s telling me. “Chris—his roommate from college Chris?”
“Yes,” she confirms, sounding unsure.
“Oh.” I close my eyes as things begin to fall into place.
His third year at college, he got an off-campus apartment, and that’s when he met Chris. He broke up with me twice the first year of them rooming together, and I was not allowed to stay with him when I went to see him. Then a few months ago, he went to spend a week with Chris in Seattle—something he did every couple of months. When he came home, things seemed different between us. There was a distance that wasn’t there before, and he stopped wanting to be intimate.
I didn’t really dwell on it too much, because I knew he was busy and I was too. Plus, planning the wedding of his mom’s dreams was stressing us both out. God, I was so stupid. It also now makes sense why Chris seemed to hate me so much.
“His parents disowned him,” she says, and I take a seat as my chest starts to ache. I’ve known his mom and dad since I was a kid, and they are both very traditional. They always have been. Unlike some parents, who might come to accept their child when they open up about their sexuality, I doubt they will, which makes me wonder if that’s why he was with me.
“Is he okay?” I ask quietly, even knowing that he’s not and unsure if I should care. He’s always tried to do everything his parents expected him to do, and I’m sure he’s devastated that he had to choose between making his parents happy and doing what he knew would be right for himself.
“He’s upset. He hates that he’s hurt everyone, especially you. But . . .”
“But he’s happy,” I finish for her. “I’m glad for him. I mean, I’m pissed that he obviously lied to me for God knows how long, but I’m glad that he’s doing what’s right for him, that he’s finally being honest.”
“God, I fucking love you,” she whisper-hisses, and tears fill my eyes. “I told him that you would understand once you knew. I mean, I know you might not ever be friends again, but I knew you would still want him to be happy.”
“I will always want him to be happy,” I tell her quietly as I watch Tanner walk toward me carrying two plates of food.
“He’ll be relieved to hear you don’t hate him.”
“I could never hate him,” I reply truthfully, dropping my eyes to the ground and trying to process everything I’m feeling. “I’m going to eat lunch. We’ll talk when I get back to the lodge. I love you.”
“I love you too. Call as soon as you can,” she says before she hangs up, and I tuck my phone into the pocket of my sweatshirt, then try to smile as I accept a plate from Tanner.
“Everything okay?” he asks, taking a seat next to me.
“That was my best friend, Jade. She had lunch with my ex yesterday,” I tell him, and his body next to mine seems to fill with tension. “He . . . umm . . . got married the day I drove here.”
“What the fuck?” His eyes lock with mine, and I shake my head.
“He married his college roommate, who happens to be a guy,” I add, and his eyes widen slightly. Dropping my eyes from his, I pick up my sandwich that moments ago I would have devoured, but right now, the heavy weight in my stomach is making me feel sick.
“Are you okay?” he asks softly, touching his knuckle under my chin, and I meet his gaze.
“The truth?” I prompt, and he nods. “I’m hurt, not because he’s found someone, but because he lied to me. I’m angry with him for not being truthful with me, but I’m also relieved, because if he had kept his secret and married me, we would have both ended up miserable. I also . . .” I swallow. “I’m also wondering if he was cheating on me, if he cheated on me every time he went to meet up with Chris. The thought makes me want to be sick.”
“Cybil.” His voice sounds gruff as he wipes at the tears I feel soaking my lashes.