“If you’re fine, then you’ll have no problem breaking my hold,” he said.
I stopped resisting. “I don’t want to spar.” I was way too exhausted to keep up with him and the class we had just taught had used up all the energy I’d had left.
He shrugged with a tiny smirk. “Then I guess we could just stand here and talk. I happen to be a great listener.”
“Oh, really?” I drawled.
“Yup. We can talk about anything you want. I’ll be right here with open ears and zero judgment.”
That was super sweet, but I didn’t want to talk. I moved as fast as I could, hoping to catch him off guard, and dragged him to the ground. He was quick—quicker than I could keep up with at the moment—and he had me pinned on my back in two fluid moves.
Pinning my hands above my head, he didn’t look happy. “That was way too easy.”
“Sorry to disappoint you,” I said with zero bite as I relaxed under him.
He released one of my hands to put his beneath my head, snaking his fingers into my hair. “Maybe I should pull your hair?”
I didn’t react as he tugged a little. I just lay there staring up at him. I knew he wanted me to fight back. I could see the pleading in his eyes.
His brow scrunched up as he let go of my hair. “I see you fading away, baby girl. You’re going fast and it’s scaring the shit out of me.”
I didn’t want to scare him. With my free hand, I reached up and cupped the back of his head, pulling him closer. He resisted at first, his worried eyes searching mine. Then he leaned down. I pressed my lips to his, needing to take his fear away and wanting to feel something other than tired and broken.
He pulled away with a pained expression. “I’m not going to fall for that again.”
I smiled a little. “I’m not trying to escape.”
“Yes, you are.” He brushed his thumb across my bottom lip. “You’re kissing me to drown out your demons.”
“No. I—”
“I know what it’s like to use someone as a distraction,” he cut me off. “I don’t want to be a distraction to you. I want you to kiss me because you want to kiss me.”
“I do want to kiss you.”
He looked so torn, his lips hovering inches above mine. “I’ve been where you are—I’ve been you in this situation—and I wish the other person stopped me.”
My eyes never leaving his, I asked, “What?”
“If I kiss you right now, you’ll soon find out that kissing isn’t enough to tune out the world. The next stop is sex, and you’ll discover, for a short time, how good it’ll make you feel. To someone who feels like their life is falling apart, that’s appealing. But it’s just fucking. There’s no intimacy to it. Just two bodies riding each other until they reach the finish line.”
I blushed. Maybe I had tried to use him a little. Now that he’d pointed that out, I’d be sure to never do it again. I didn’t just want to have sex. I didn’t want sex like that with them. I wanted the passion and connection.
His eyes lit up with relief and he smiled as he stroked my cheek. “There you are.”
I huffed, trying not to smile.
Someone cleared their throat. We both looked up. Knox was staring down at us. He looked from me to Keelan.
Keelan grinned at his brother. “You still have no room to judge.”
“You could have picked a better place to do whatever it is that you two are doing,” Knox said, and it was then that I noticed he was carrying three gym bags, one of them being mine.
Keelan’s brows rose and he opened his mouth to argue.
“Don’t bring up what happened in the kitchen,” I said, knowing that was what he was going to throw back in Knox’s face. I began trying to scoot out from underneath Keelan. He climbed off me and I was able to get to my feet. “I’m guessing it’s time to go?” I asked Knox as I held my hand out for my bag.
Knox looked from my hand to me. “Go get your shoes.”
I didn’t argue and headed over to the cubbies.
After Keelan and I got our shoes on, the three of us made our way back to the front of the gym.
“Colt and Creed are going to meet us for dinner,” Knox announced as we approached the front desk. Derek was still there, reclined back in the office chair with his fingers laced behind his head.
“Sounds good. Where are we eating?” Keelan asked.
When I didn’t hear Knox answer, I glanced back at them over my shoulder. They stared at me expectantly.