It’s so blurry.
The face, my mind… my life.
It’s all blurry… but then I close my eyes, and suddenly everything it’s clear.
The haze is gone.
I can see.
My stomach is swollen.
My smile is wide.
A hand slides into my hair, large and strong, yet gentle. And then his eyes open, and a calm settles over me.
His eyes, they’re the most gorgeous shade of— Voices creep in and steal the dream away.
“What did you give her?”
“It’s a sedative. We need to get her heart rate down.”
The beeping is back, and then everything goes black.
Noah
* * *
It’s been a couple hours since I left the hospital, and not five minutes after my ass hit the seat of my truck, Mason called. And then he called again and again, but I didn’t pick up.
While he was calling, Brady set up a new message thread in GroupMe, the app the football team uses for group chats and sharing information. He created it with a handful of guys he must assume I talk to the most, Trey being one of them, asking if anyone has seen me and if not, where they think they can find me. A couple guys name the obvious places like the gym, field, and my house, but the people I’ve been living at the hospital with know better than that, and minutes after that, my phone starts ringing again. Both Mason and Brady try call after call, text after text.
I should appreciate their concern and the fact that they give a damn where I am and what I’m doing, but my mind can’t hold any other thoughts right now, so I turn off my notifications, hit the corner store and drive a few miles outside of town without a destination in mind. The first turn after the city limits sign is the one I take, and I bury my truck in the middle of an orchard. Hiding my keys in the glovebox, I drop the tailgate and climb up.
I’m not a drinker, never have been, but tonight, I’ll drink like a pro.
Some bottom shelf vodka is the liquor of choice. It’s disgusting, burns like a bitch, but I couldn’t bring myself to walk toward the whiskey, not when I would have done nothing but picture drowning in a certain set of eyes, so I drown in clear liquor instead.
I drink until the last drop, the need to get trashed high.
I want to black out , to shut down fully and completely, because if my girl doesn’t remember us, I don’t want to remember anything.
Not even my own fucking name.
For the first time in my life, I wish I were someone else.
I wish I were him.
Chapter 40
Arianna
* * *
A flash of blue jolts me awake, and when I open my eyes, Cameron is there.
“Hey, girlfriend.” She yawns, her upper body bent over in her chair, her head lying on my legs. She folds her arms under her cheek and smiles. “How’s the head?”
“Heavy, but not excruciating anymore. My ribs are an entirely different story.”
“I bet.”
Glancing around the room, I spot Mason draped over the corner chair, the rest of the space clear.
“Brady and Chase went home a couple hours ago to shower and get some sleep. Mase wouldn’t budge, of course.”
The corner of my mouth lifts, but I look away when moisture builds in my eyes and I don’t even know why. “What day is it?”
She’s quiet a moment before she whispers, “It’s still December twenty-ninth. You were only asleep for a couple hours.” Her tone is thick with worry.
I nod, but my lips begin to quiver, and she sits up, Mason quickly coming to my side. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why this keeps happening.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s been less than twenty-four hours since you woke up. Of course you’re going to emotional, we understand, and we’re just happy you’re okay.”
“Am I?”
Mase reaches out, but I shake my head, wiping the tears away before they fall. My chest aches with my full inhale, but I suffer through it, trying to force away the millions of emotions dizzying up my mind.
“Ari—”
“I wish Mom and Dad were here.” I cry, my shoulders shaking, and Mason shifts, sitting at the edge beside me on the bed now.
“I know you do. Me too.” He hugs me to him, his voice cracking. “I’ve tried everything, but they’ll call us as soon as they’re back on land. Should only be two more days, tops.”
Two more days until I’ll get to hear my mom’s voice, until my dad is here promising everything will be okay and begs for instructions on what he can do to make it better.
I don’t know what can be made better, if anything.