“I’m sorry about last night,” I say quietly. “I was in a bad place. I’ll be honest, Kelsey. I think you’re really hot. I lost control, and I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.”
The apple is halfway to her mouth, but she pauses and turns to me. I hang my head to the side so we’re staring into each other’s eyes. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. I think I freaked out, and rather than acting like a normal human being, I blamed everything on you when I shouldn’t have. In the moment, when everything was happening, I wanted it. I wanted it so bad.”
That brings a smile to my face and eases the tightness in my chest.
I tug on my hair. “Yeah, I wanted it bad, too. I think there was only one shred of self-control left that held me back from tearing that bustier off and fucking you.”
Her teeth roll over her lip and she says, “I would’ve let it happen.”
“Hell,” I groan, dragging my hand over my face. “Don’t say that.”
She chuckles. “I was sad last night. You were right about Derek. He didn’t kiss me, and I was feeling really low. I clung to you in all the wrong ways. I should’ve just talked to you like I’m talking to you now.”
I hold my arm out and, to my relief, she moves into my grasp, resting her head on my chest while I hug her closely. “You didn’t have a chance to talk to me. I provoked you right away. In all honesty, I was sad you weren’t at the Mayor’s Ball with me, and I took it out on you. I shouldn’t have.”
She lifts up. “You were sad about that?”
I nod. “Yeah, I’d had fun the previous two nights and, I don’t know, I didn’t want to go alone. I forgot about your date, though.”
“You should’ve said something, I would’ve rescheduled.”
I wish you hadn’t gone on the date at all.
“Nah, you were excited about it. I should’ve acted more respectfully, but that’s sort of hard for me. I don’t make the right choices sometimes, and last night it showed. I’m really sorry, Kelsey.”
“Don’t be,” she says, resting back on my chest. I hold her close, wishing this is what we were normally like, that this was a typical Saturday morning for us. “I think we both treated each other unfairly. I used you because I was feeling empty after that date, and I never should have.”
“It really didn’t go well?” I ask her, hoping she’ll say yes.
“I thought it did.”
Damn.
“But it ended . . .” She pauses and buries her head farther into my chest. “God, this is so embarrassing and I can’t believe I’m even considering telling you.”
I gently drag my fingers through the long strands as I say, “No judgment here.”
She groans and then says, “God, he gave me a handshake last night as a goodbye.”
“A handshake?” I ask. Jesus, dude, way to fucking blow it with the most irresistible woman.
“Yes, I was mentally preparing for a kiss, followed up by an ‘I’ll call you,’ or ‘let’s do this again,’ maybe even a possible ‘I can’t wait to see you again.’ But I got a thank you and a handshake, and then I was on my way. It was such a letdown because I thought there was chemistry.” She shakes her head. “I was so sad when I came home. All I can think about is what’s wrong with me? What’s so horrible about me that I’d pull a handshake out of a man? I mean, not even a hug?”
“Nothing is wrong with you, Kelsey. Trust me, nothing is fucking wrong with you. You’re perfect.”
She shakes her head again. “I’m not.”
I lean away and lift her chin so our eyes connect. “Kelsey, you’re fucking perfect,” I say again, trying to convey to her how goddamn right I am about this. “Derek is a fool for not kissing you last night. And I’m sorry that he left you feeling anything less than what you truly are. Fuck. I’m so sorry for how I treated you last night.”
She shakes her head. “In that moment, I needed it. I needed to feel wanted and beautiful. I’m just sorry I used you.”
“You didn’t use me, Kelsey. I wanted that just as much as you did. There was no using involved.”
She softly smiles. “Well, I guess, thank you.” She shrugs and it causes me to laugh. “I know you said we’re short-term companions and you will probably deny it until you’re blue in the face, but your friendship means a lot to me.”