Thwap.
I’m knocked back on the couch, pain ricocheting through my face as I stare up at Breaker, who’s shaking out his hand. I slowly process the warm spot on my cheek where I was struck.
“You hit me,” I say, stating the obvious.
“I’m not even sorry. It had to be done.” He lets out a deep breath. “Look around you. You’re drowning yourself in sugar cane root beer that I can only assume tastes like a foot, you’re attempting to twin with a goddamn pigeon you’ve never met, and you’re naming fictional pigeons Kelsey. This isn’t just rock bottom, this is crossing a line, and to hell if I’m going to sit back and watch. Now get the fuck up, go take a goddamn shower, and get your shit together, because there’s no way in hell Kelsey is going to want to talk to a guy who’s attempting to crack the code on pigeon communication so he can tell her how much he loves her. Newsflash—that’s not romantic.”
I blink a few times, and even though I’ve settled into the comfort of my own—if you will—nest, I realize that he’s right. Who knows if Kelsey will come back, or when . . . but if she does, she can’t find me like this. No fucking way.
I scrub my hand over my face and say, “Fuck, I’m embarrassed.”
“You should be. Fuck. Now go get clean. I’m ordering dinner, and you’re going to work tomorrow.”
“You’re right.” I stand again and head toward the stairs. “You’re right, I really need to get back to work, get back into the swing of things. Who knows, maybe this was the wake-up call I needed.”
I.
Want.
To.
Die.
This was a horrible idea. Really fucking horrible.
I miss the comfort of my couch.
I miss the dank taste of the sugar cane root beer.
And I miss the sweet sound of pigeons cooing.
Nothing seems more appealing to me at this moment, but instead, I’m sitting at a conference table, across from Kelsey—who got a fucking haircut and looks sexier than ever with her shoulder-length curled hair—listening to her give me an update on the Angelica project.
When I found out I had a meeting with her, I rushed out of my office, ran over to Breaker’s, and sank down to the ground, wrapping my hands and arms around his leg, telling him I wasn’t leaving him alone until he agreed to attend the meeting with me.
He was on a video call.
With our team in New York.
He was less than pleased.
But it was a quick yes from him so he could shake me off his leg.
But even with him at my side, I still feel the air slowly seeping from my lungs, making it increasingly harder to breathe with every second that goes by.
And Kelsey, she looks so calm, collected, not an ounce of awkwardness from her—and that’s concerning.
Very fucking concerning.
Because that can only mean one thing: she doesn’t care anymore. She doesn’t care about us. She’s given up. If she cared, she’d be stumbling over her sentences, dropping her papers, maybe even missaying some words. You know, like . . . uh . . . banana instead of bamboo. That makes zero sense, but in this frantic state, I can’t think of anything that would portray what I’m trying to say. But you get it, right?
As the Righteous Brothers would say . . . she’s lost that lovin’ feelin’。
Fuck, I should’ve sent the pigeon message.
“I think that’s all I have for you guys. Do you have any questions?” Kelsey asks as she tucks a curl behind her ear.
Yes. I have a few questions.
Why haven’t you texted me?
Have you thought about me at all?
Do you miss me like I miss you?
Have you really lost that lovin’ feelin’？
“Uh, I think we’re good,” Breaker says. “Unless, JP, you have anything?”
Kelsey’s eyes land on mine as she patiently waits.
Do you love me?
Do you want to move in with me?
Do you want to marry me?
Do you want to be my pigeon?
Breaker kicks me under the table, startling me to answer. “Uh, no, nothing. Great, uh, great work on all the projects and stuff. Really liked the, uh, the storage.”
Breaker groans next to me and then says, “Keep us updated on the cost of the engineered hardwood flooring.”
“I will.” She smiles. “Thanks.” She gathers her things, stands, and walks out of the conference room. When the door shuts, I collapse on the table.
“She doesn’t fucking miss me. Cold as stone. She didn’t even flinch when she heard my voice.”