Breaker is silent for a moment before saying, “Yeah, I actually expected her to be a little more nervous. Or at least show some feelings.”
“Right?” I bury my head in my hands. “Fuck. It’s over, isn’t it? I lost her.”
“I don’t think you lost her. I just think . . . I think she’s shielding herself. And frankly, you’re a goddamn mess right now. Maybe she’s nervous to approach you.”
“I’m nervous to approach a mirror in fear of what I might see, of course she’s not going to want to come near me.”
“Then fix it, man. She liked you because you’re charismatic, charming, and a good time. Right now, you’re just a ball of anxiety who’s one loaf of bread away from becoming a pigeon man. Show her the man she fell for. Show her the man she’s meant to be with.”
Meant to be . . .
I lift my head as an idea forms. “What did you just say?”
Looking confused, he says, “Show her the man she’s meant to be with.”
I grip Breaker’s face, bring him into mine, and kiss him right on the lips. He swats me away and wipes at his mouth as I say, “You’re so fucking smart. Why didn’t I think of that?” I bolt out of my chair and lift my fist to the sky. “I’m getting her back . . . watch this.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
KELSEY
I chew on my nail as I listen to the phone ring three times and then hear, “Hey, sis.”
“I’m so sorry I’m calling you on your honeymoon, but I really need to talk to you.”
“Don’t apologize, I told you to call whenever you want. Granted, I didn’t think that was going to be every day, but you know I’m here for you.”
“I know, I’m sorry, but . . . I got my haircut as you said.”
“Yes, I know, you showed me a picture. You like it?”
“I do.” I pace my office, knowing JP is just around the corner. “And I feel really sexy with the short look, and I put on that new lingerie you made me buy, and the green dress.”
“With the sleeves?”
“Yes.”
“So, you’re feeling better? More confident?”
“I was . . . and I swore I wasn’t going to call you, but then JP showed up at work yesterday, and he looked . . . God, Lottie, I feel like everything I’ve been working on this past week vanished the moment I saw him, and I was taken right back to that night. And then I had a meeting with him. Thankfully, Breaker joined us. I held it together, and I’m actually really proud of myself for acting professionally during the entire meeting. But now that it’s over, my palms are sweating, and I feel this urgent need to cry, but no tears are falling.”
“Seeing him didn’t make you miss him more?”
“Of course it did. I’ve missed him every minute of every day. And his text messages have made it even worse. I just felt so embarrassed when I looked him in the eyes.”
“I can understand that. You’re still carrying around the burden of what happened that night.”
“I am, but I can’t help but wonder if I’m being ridiculous.”
“Your feelings are completely valid. No one can dictate if you’re being ridiculous or not, because they’re not in your head. They can’t understand your emotions like you can. With that being said, do you think you’re being ridiculous?”
“Objectively, as an outsider looking in, all I can think about is how there’s this man, this wonderfully loving man, who wants nothing more than to be with me. Being in the middle of it, I guess, I just feel a debilitating embarrassment, and I don’t know how to cross that line with him again, you know?”
“Does that mean you want him back?”
“I . . .”
Knock. Knock.
I glance up at the door, and there, standing in the doorway, hands tucked into his pockets, looking more handsome than ever, is JP.
“Uh, Lottie, I have to go.”
“Oh God, is he there?”
“Yup. Talk to you later.”
I hang up before she can respond. Nervously, I set my phone down and push my hair behind my ear. He doesn’t step into my office, but rather leans against the doorjamb, looking like a model from GQ, with his hair curling over his forehead and his dark scruff lining his jaw.
“Hello,” I say, unsure of what else to say. “Is there, uh, something you need?”
“Hey, can I get your opinion?”
“Uh . . . sure,” I say. We haven’t talked in over a week, but he wants my opinion on something, that’s not weird at all.