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So Not Meant To Be(85)

Author:Meghan Quinn

And that’s the truth.

The minute the show started, I was into it. I’ve never been to a drag show before, but I’m a firm believer in not missing one episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race, so I knew what to expect going in. Lord help me, I didn’t think it was going to be that amazing. And it wasn’t just the show, it was JP, too. He was so relaxed, so . . . present. He wasn’t sarcastic. He was just . . . smiling and having a great time, while making sure I was taken care of. His arm never once strayed from my chair, and at one point, I felt him playing with the ends of my hair as LuLu Lemons lip-synched to I Will Always Love You.

“Good. You deserve it,” he says as he looks away.

I have this weird urge to take his hand in mine, to curl against his side and breathe in this man that feels new, but also . . . the same. But even though the urge is strong, I know it’s not what I should do. I mean, it’s definitely not what I should do. I need to remind myself what tonight is all about—JP proving to me that his choices in activities are better than mine.

I can admit when I’ve been defeated.

And this night blew me away.

“Thank you for tonight, JP.”

Still with his eyes shut, he says, “It’s not over yet.”

“It’s not?” I ask, surprised.

He shakes his head. “Nope, just sit back and relax. We’ll arrive at our final destination shortly.”

Lamp posts line the wood-planked pier all the way to where it ends in the middle of the Bay. The deep richness of the midnight sky looms over us as distant lights from the city twinkle behind us. A cool breeze lifts off the water as we walk slowly down the long stretch of boardwalk, the gentle sound of water lapping at the Bay’s edge as our soundtrack. Dotted with only a few people, JP and I are almost completely alone.

“I didn’t think you were a touristy person,” I say in awe as we walk. “Wouldn’t this classify as a touristy spot?”

“Pier 39, yes. Pier 7, not so much. You learn that quickly when you stay here for more than a few days.”

“When did you start coming out here?”

“I was often too wired when my brothers went to bed, so I’d go out. They assumed I was hitting the bars, or attempting to hook up with someone for the night, but I came down here, walked to the end of the pier, and just stared out into the dark water.”

“What would you think about?” I ask.

“Anything. Everything. Whatever was on my mind at the moment.”

“So why did you bring me here?” I ask as we continue making our way down the long stretch. “You don’t have anything to think on, do you?”

“There’s always something to think about, and I figured you might like it here. If you ever come back, this could be your thinking spot, too.”

“I like that a lot,” I say as I gently bump my shoulder against his.

He smiles and brings his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side as we walk.

“This might be the best place to come after a long day of organizing. Stop by the bakery, get one of those honey cakes, snap a picture of it and gloat, then come here and eat it alongside the Bay.”

“Careful of the birds, they’re ruthless during the day.”

“Good point.”

“You know how I know that?” he asks.

“Please tell me it’s by experience.”

He nods. “It was a long goddamn day in the conference room with my brothers, I needed some air, so I grabbed some Thai food to go, brought it down here, and started eating. It was slow at first. A random bird here, a seagull there. I flailed a bit, trying to scare them away, but then they started talking . . . chirping to each other. Saying, ‘Hey, there’s an unsuspecting idiot over there at the end of the pier—’”

“Why do they have a Brooklyn accent?”

“These birds have been places.” That makes me laugh, and he continues, “I didn’t think much of it at first, when another bird landed in front of me. One off to the side, then one behind me. They swarmed, their numbers outweighing my limbs, and they grew closer and closer until one brave soul pecked me on the leg.”

“No, it didn’t.”

“It fucking did. Right on the shin. I yelled at it, obviously, bent down to check on my shin, and that’s when they converged.”

“They used a decoy bird on you.”

“Precisely. I was a lost man, had no defense. The birds attacked. Feathers were everywhere. Beaks were knocking together, and there was nothing I could do other than toss my to-go box of food as far from me as I could and hold on for dear life until they left me a shaking shell of a man on the boardwalk.”

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