“We’ll talk more once I’ve seen them.” He shut the phone off and shoved it in his pocket. “Let’s go.” He jutted his chin forward and we made our way down the hall, stopping only briefly for me to pull shoes on.
On the way to the park, I stared out the window, going over everything in my head.
“This really will be for the best,” he said, sounding as if he were trying to convince himself as well as me. “For the kids.” He reached his hand across the car, touching my stomach gently. “All of them.” I tensed under his touch, refusing to move, and when he pulled his hand back, he added, “And for us, too.”
I didn’t respond.
“We’re good together, Ains. I know you’re having a hard time seeing it right now, but tensions are just high. It’s a bad time. Couples go through bad times. Maybe we could try counseling again, when you’re feeling up to it. Or…or maybe we could take some time off and travel. Maybe we’ll do date nights again. We owe it to them to try, don’t we? It’s like you said…we own each other’s sins. We know the deepest, darkest parts of each other. No one else will ever know you like I do. And no one will ever know me like you. We’re meant to be together. You have to believe that.” He was almost manic, his tone insistent and erratic. He needed me to believe him. He needed everything to be okay again so he could go back to his life of ruining ours.
I nodded. “You’re right, Peter. You know everything about me, but it’s not exactly fair because you’re still holding this giant secret looming over my head. I’ve done my end of the bargain, but you still haven’t told me where the bodies are. Shouldn’t I be helping you hide them? Shouldn’t I be making sure you’ve covered your tracks?”
“No offense, Ains, but I have a little more experience with this than you do. I’ve managed not to get caught yet.”
“Barely,” I mumbled.
“The one time I panicked was when it was Stefan, and that’s because I wasn’t prepared and he was a cop. And because I never wanted you to see me like that. It changed things. But the rest you can trust me with. And you can trust me with the secret. I’d never do anything to hurt you.”
“You literally just tried to kill me.”
“You gave me no choice!” he shouted, then lowered his voice. “I just want us to be together. I need that. We need that.”
“What are you saying? You’re never going to tell me?”
“They’re safe, Ains. They’re safe. That’s all that matters.”
“No, it’s not all that matters,” I shouted across the car at him. “You lied! You lied to me. After everything I’ve done for you.”
“For me? You mean to me? You tried to kill me, Ainsley. You tried to turn me in. You think I don’t know I need a little extra protection? I’m not stupid, okay?”
“So, what? You’re just going to hold it over me forever? Are you going to walk the dog, or do I need to make a call?”
“What? Like you held everything over me, you mean? You ruined everything. Everything was perfect. I had these little…sections of my life. Everything stayed in its box. Everything was neat and tidy. And then you came along and you mixed everything up. And you brought all the boxes together until I had a mess. And now I have to clean up the mess that you made. So, yeah, I’m going to hold that over you if I have to. But if you’re on your best behavior, I won’t—”
“I’m not a child!” I bellowed. “You can’t do this to me. You have to tell me. If you want mutual trust you have to tell me. Are they in the woods still? At least tell me that.”
His lips pressed into a thin line. I watched for his cheeks to flame pink, but they didn’t. He wasn’t lying. Then again, he wasn’t saying anything at all.
“Peter, please?” I lowered my voice. “Please just tell me. Please. It’s going to drive me crazy.”
“It’s better if we go back to the way things were.” His fingers gripped the steering wheel. “It’s better if you’re in the dark from here on out.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Oh, I am,” he said. “Deadly.” He chuckled to himself, making me feel sick, then turned up the radio. “Now, just relax. We’re going to bring the kids home, and everything’s going to be fine. You’ll see.” He took my hand, squeezing it so hard I yelped when I tried to pull away.