Jules→Bosco
Commencing starvation diet. Downloading abs app. Caper is still pie in the sky, but that’s how all good things begin, right?
Love you, old man, JJ
4
Eric Platt→Jazz Attenborough
Dear Mr. Attenborough,
We have received an interview query too intriguing to reject out of hand as I normally do. Potent elements: Bosco from the Conduits; Jules Jones （author of Suicide Tour）， and speedboats. Any interest?
Sincerely, Eric Platt
3rd Assistant to Jazz Attenborough
Jazz Attenborough→Eric Platt Sounds like a hoax. You’ve checked it out?
Eric→Jazz
Dear Mr. Attenborough,
Sorry, got overexcited. Will check now.
Sincerely, Eric Platt
3rd Assistant to Jazz Attenborough
Jazz Attenborough→Carmine DeSantis
New 3rd assistant a disaster. Please find another.
Carmine DeSantis→Jazz Attenborough
Will start looking, but background checks take time. Have you read the scripts?
Jazz→Carmine
Remind me?
Carmine→Jazz
Grandpa; Santa; Undersea Cave-Warlock.
Jazz→Carmine
No, no, and no. Want sexier roles. How can I get paired with younger stars?
Carmine→Jazz
Grandpa, Santa, Undersea Cave-Warlock!!
Jazz→Carmine
Facelift?
Carmine→Jazz
Too obvious. Stick with craggy.
Eric Platt→Jazz Attenborough Dear Mr. Attenborough,
It all checks out. The people are real. I’ve spoken with the writer, Jules Jones, who has remained close to Bosco Baines （of the Conduits） since writing about him in Suicide Tour. Could be great publicity for you.
Sincerely, Eric Platt
3rd Assistant to Jazz Attenborough
Jazz→Eric
Forward to Carmine, he will handle. 1st and 2nd assistants too busy.
FWD: Eric Platt→Carmine DeSantis
Dear Mr. DeSantis,
Please see below my correspondence with Mr. Attenborough regarding a possible interview to take place on one or more of his speedboats. I’ve spoken to the writer and it all checks out. I think it could be a great way to burnish Mr. A’s image as a silver alpha.
Sincerely, Eric Platt
3rd Assistant to Jazz Attenborough
Carmine→Eric
Silver alpha, I like that. Haven’t seen 70 y/o Jazz in swim trunks lately, have you?
Eric→Carmine
Yes, he’d just finished swimming when I came for my interview. Looks great for a senior: well tanned, well muscled, abundant gray chest hair, stringy/beef jerky abs.
Carmine→Eric
Can chest hair be dyed?
Eric→Carmine
Yes. My girlfriend is a makeup artist. She does it with a toothbrush.
Carmine→Eric
Tell the writer yes. One problem: Jazz wants me to replace you. If you’ll oversee the logistics, I’ll present them as my own.