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The Candy House(118)

Author:Jennifer Egan

Eric→Carmine

With all due respect, Mr. DeSantis, why should I settle for that?

Carmine→Eric

Ok let’s have it: hopes and dreams in five words or less.

Eric→Carmine

Screenwriter/Director

Carmine→Eric

I hereby pledge to read your next script and represent you if I like it.

Eric→Carmine

Thank you, Mr. DeSantis! Could you please include a quick witness signature?

Carmine→Eric

You’re learning fast.

Jules Jones→Ames Hollander VIA MONDRIAN

Dear Ames,

While I appreciate your trust, I need to get out of the middle of this. I’m anxious about weevils for the first time in a year, and I have too much on my plate to deal with a breakdown right now.

Yours, JJ

Ames→Jules VIA MONDRIAN

Dear Jules,

Fear of weevils outweighs incidence by 5,000 to 1, which is why they are classified as a Terrorist Weapon rather than a Surveillance Tool. That said, there may be a slight possibility of a breach in our friend’s case, so I’m moving her to the top of my NYC list. I knew her husband a little from my own dealings with NSA (great guy), but the government has a strict rule against outside cleaners, so there is no way he can be involved or even know about this. You are the obvious person, Jules. Will throw in a “tune-up” scan for you, if that helps.

Ames Hollander

Jules→Ames VIA MONDRIAN

Fuck. Going for a run. Too anxious to continue this convo and trying to lose weight.

Carmine DeSantis→Jazz Attenborough

Jazzy, I strongly suggest you do the speedboat profile with Jules Jones (SUICIDE TOUR) and Bosco (CONDUITS), and have taken the liberty of answering “yes” on your behalf.

Jazz→Carmine

How long have we worked together, Carmine?

Carmine→Jazz

My whole career, 23 years.

Jazz→Carmine

If I’ve had a single motto, from day one, what has it been?

Carmine→Jazz

I know I know, “No reunions.” But I thought that only meant with angry ex-wives and feckless offspring.

Jazz→Carmine

It means everyone.

Carmine→Jazz

Well you’ve never met Bosco Baines or Jules Jones, so it will be a reunion for THEM but not for you. On another note, why fire 3rd Assistant when his suggestion ended up checking out?

Jazz→Carmine

Don’t like to flip-flop. Replace.

Eric Platt→Jules Jones

Dear Mr. Jones,

I’m pleased to relate the news that Mr. Attenborough is willing to participate in the speedboat interview with you and Bosco Baines after his return from Belize next month. As security on his property is tight, can you give me a sense now of how many people would be present? The crew must be minimal, and we’ll need signed affidavits from each person present stating that the day will be deleted in full from any uploads to the Collective Consciousness.

Respectfully, Eric Platt

3rd Assistant to Jazz Attenborough

Jules→Eric