I hate that he didn’t.
I get a vision of us laughing and making love and of all the wonderful late-night deep and meaningful conversations we had in bed, and my heart hurts.
For a while there, I let myself believe that we had something special.
I exhale sadly; but it wasn’t to be.
Elliot Miles isn’t the only one who wants the happily-ever-after with someone extraordinary . . . and guess what, I’m waiting for it.
Even if it kills me . . . and the way I feel now, it just might.
“Hello.” I smile at the kind-looking waiter. “I’m here to see Steven about the waitress position.”
I’ve been here for four days and can’t stomach the thought of going back. I called the real-estate agent and the place I’m staying at now is coming up for long-term rent.
I’m going to stay for a while and put some roots down while I sort myself out.
“Hi.” He smiles as he wipes down the bar. “I’m Steven.”
“Hi.” I feel so awkward, and I clutch my résumé in my hands with white-knuckle force.
“Have you ever waitressed before?” he asks.
“No.”
“Ever been in hospitality?”
“Nope.”
“What do you normally do?”
“IT.” I twist my fingers in front of me. “Computer analysis.”
He frowns. “What are you doing here?”
“Honestly?” I shrug. “I broke up with my boyfriend and ran away. I figure Lanikai is a pretty amazing place to stay for a few months while I lick my wounds and get my shit together.”
Oh no . . . I wrecked it.
He smiles broadly. “It is. I did that five years ago and never left. When can you start?”
“Today.”
The sound of the ocean laps at the shore and I smile into the sun as I walk along.
This place is heaven.
And not just because it was my escape plan.
For the first time in a long time, probably since my parents died, I feel proud of myself.
I’ve pushed myself way out of my comfort zone.
I didn’t want to stay in London; my gut told me to leave.
There were too many questions between us, too little trust on my behalf.
Even though I wanted to stay and fight for us, I knew that I needed this time alone.
To regroup and find out who I am again.
It’s as if I’m finally coming into my own. I’ve lived in the shadow of my parents’ death for seven dark years . . . but somehow, this new heartache over Elliot has snapped me out of it.
For a long time, I wanted a change, but I was always too cautious and scared, then this happened and suddenly without hesitation I moved to the other side of the world. I was tired of IT so I now work nights in a restaurant.
Everything I’ve been pushing through over the last few years, the staleness and boredom . . . I don’t feel it anymore.
I wake up every day renewed, a little sad . . . but still, excited for what’s coming.
I’ve been doing yoga as the sun comes up on the beach; I swim in the ocean and lie in the sun. I go for a big walk and then have an afternoon nap. At night, I go to work in the restaurant. It’s fun and easy and the people there are so nice.
“Lovely day, isn’t it?” a man says as he rides past me on a pushbike.