Victor. I’m relieved she’s brought him up. This is my chance. ‘Is Victor your ex-husband, Gran?’ I ask.
She lets out a snort of laughter. ‘Of course not. I’ve never been married.’
‘But Victor is Lorna’s dad. Lolly’s dad?’
Her big hazel eyes meet mine. ‘Yes … yes, I think he is.’
‘You think?’
Her face crumples. ‘Everything is so foggy … my memories. They aren’t always clear.’
‘I know,’ I say gently. ‘I know, Gran.’ Her eyes fill with tears and mine immediately follow suit. ‘It’s okay,’ I say. ‘It’s okay.’
‘It’s not,’ she says, as a tear falls from her eye and snakes down her crinkly cheek. ‘Even after all these years I miss her.’
My heart aches. ‘Miss who, Gran?’
‘I miss her.’
I wonder if she’s talking about Daphne. ‘What happened to her?’ I ask, although I’m not sure I want the answer. What if she confesses to me right now that she killed her and buried her in the garden alongside Neil? What would I do with that information? She’s an old woman now and I love her. I want to protect her. What good could come out of a confession? For the first time since all this began I’m not sure I want to get to the truth. Maybe secrets really are best buried.
‘Did Victor hurt her, Gran?’
She nods, tears on her cheeks. ‘Yes, he did. He’s not a nice man.’
‘I know,’ I say. ‘He doesn’t sound it.’
‘He tricked her,’ she says now.
‘Tricked Daphne?’
She shakes her head. ‘No, no.’
‘He tricked you?’
She looks at me and blinks. Then she reaches out and cups my hair behind my ears. ‘I love you,’ she says.
‘Oh, Gran, I love you too.’
‘And I love Lolly. Don’t let Victor find her,’ she says, closing her eyes again. ‘Keep her safe.’
‘Gran, Victor is an old man now. He won’t hurt her.’
When she opens her eyes I can tell that the Gran I know has gone, replaced by a stranger. ‘Who are you?’ she says, as though the conversation we’ve just had has never taken place.
So I sit patiently and repeat everything I said earlier, hoping she’ll come back to me.
As I’m walking to my car later I receive a phone call from DS Barnes.
They’ve found Glen Davies. He’s been arrested.
44
Rose
Summer 1980
It was getting worse, my fear and paranoia. Every time there was a noise I’d think it was the police at the door, coming to arrest me. Every time I walked into the village I worried people were talking about me, that they somehow knew. An article had appeared in the newspaper about Neil Lewisham’s disappearance, and when I saw his face staring out from the pages I had to walk out of the shop, panic engulfing me. I wasn’t coping well, mentally, with the fact I had killed a man. Even if I tried to convince myself I had done it for good reason.
Daphne was amazing. Over the next few months she became my rock. She had some paving slabs delivered from a local stonemason and told me she was going to ‘make over’ the garden. But I knew what she was really doing. She was lengthening the patio so that it covered the area where Neil’s body was buried. So that I no longer had to look at the patch in the grass that didn’t match the rest of the lawn.