Although his face doesn抰 hurt either.
Even I will admit he has a face that抯 hard to look away from. His features shouldn抰 work together梥harp cheekbones, a nose that appears to have been broken at some point, intense brown eyes. His would be a stern face were it not for that upper lip, which is slightly fuller than you抎 expect and turns him into the kind of man you think about a little too long. The kind you see when you close your eyes after swearing repeatedly to yourself that you have no desire to see him at all.
Nicole, the generically pretty blond associate sitting to his left, watches him run a hand through his thick hair, which is somehow always perfect and a little fucked-up at once, as if it was professionally done but then mussed when he banged the hairdresser afterward. Beneath the table, my foot taps with impatience.
揃en,?Nicole says, after clearing her throat, 揑 was at Adney抯 Tavern this weekend. I thought you might pop in.?The words sound practiced, as if she rehearsed them in the mirror all morning. She抯 so fucking infatuated that she probably did.
Behave, Gemma. I pick up my phone and start looking at shoes online.
Ben抯 distractedly flipping through a file. 揑 went home for the weekend.?
揌ome??I murmur, glancing at him. 揑 didn抰 know humans were allowed to jaunt back and forth over the River Styx like that.?
His eyes raise to mine. His mouth twitches. 揟here抯 a small toll. It抯 really quite civilized.?
Don抰 laugh, Gemma. Do not laugh. I look down at my phone, ignoring the box of donuts someone抯 shoved in front of me.
揕ive a little, Gemma,?says Caroline Radner, who isn抰 well-placed to provide advice, given she passed fifty a while ago and is never going to make partner. I抎 planned to get some of the strawberries they always have at these meetings, and now I want to refuse even that on principle.
揋emma can抰 have sugar,?Ben says, his eyes alight. 揝he likes to keep her teeth sharp.?
揑 imagine everyone familiar with dental hygiene hopes to keep their teeth sharp, Ben,?I retort.
揂h, but you抳e got more than average, right??he asks.
I narrow my eyes. The running joke, among pretty much everyone here, is that my vagina has teeth. The Castrator, they call me. In theory because I often represent women in custody disputes, and in truth because I won抰 play the game桰 don抰 bake cupcakes and make cooing noises over pictures of everyone抯 kids. If a man doesn抰 bake cupcakes and make cooing noises, you know what they call him? Senior Partner. Ben hasn抰 made cupcakes once. But men expect you to be more thoughtful than they are梥ofter, more accommodating. And when you are paid less than your peers, or assaulted on a date, or lose a promotion, they抣l tell you it was your fault梱ou were too soft, too accommodating.
They think it抯 a slur when they refer to me as a castrating bitch, but all it says to me is that they抳e finally realized I抦 not someone to fuck with. I was someone who was fucked with a lot, once upon a time. It won抰 happen again.
Fields?assistant, Debbie, steps to the front of the room and beside me, Terri discretely sets a timer. We have a running bet about how long Debbie will speak, because even the simplest statement can take thirty minutes in her capable hands.
I text Terri.
Me: Three minutes, thirty seconds.
Terri: Three minutes, forty seconds.
揝o, I shouldn抰 have to say this again,?says Debbie, 揵ut I really need everyone to label food in the break room.?
It抯 going to be a long one桰 can already tell. I go ahead and slide Terri a five-dollar bill.
揝o many containers look the same,?she continues. 揑 don抰 want to accidentally eat your escargot when I brought in a tuna sandwich.?
I consider pointing out that you would have to be a fucking idiot to confuse escargot with a sandwich of any kind, but it would just give Debbie something more to talk about, which is the opposite of what I want.
揂nyway,?Debbie says, 搚ou really need to label and it抯 not hard to do. I like to use a piece of masking tape, and then I just write my name on there with a Sharpie.?
Debbie continues to explain, to a group of grown humans, how food is labeled. I sigh quietly, and Ben抯 eyes flicker to mine, as if he finds my irritation amusing.
One day I抦 going to light him on fire梬e抣l see how much laughing he does then.
When she says labeling is really important for the third time梤epetition is Debbie抯 favorite conversational gambit桰 have to tune her out and go to my happy place匰hoes. Shoes I will buy. Shoes I wish someone would make. Right now, I抦 thinking about green suede heels I saw at Nordstrom. Some people might argue that a kelly-green suede shoe has limited usefulness, particularly when it costs five hundred dollars, but with enough rationalization, I can make the math work in my favor.