His head tilts. 揟omorrow, then.?I抦 not sure if his persistence is cute or aggravating. But then his lips brush my temple, my cheek, as if I抦 precious to him, and the ice in my heart melts a little.
揟his isn抰 some elaborate attempt to poison me, is it??
His mouth curves to the side. 揘ot an elaborate one, no.?
I laugh. 揙kay,?I concede. Maybe he抯 not irritating. Maybe there抯 a rope stretched taut between us and he抯 doing his best to keep me from dropping my end and walking away. And maybe, possibly, he抯 a little uncertain too.
揑抣l get us a table at Bavel,?he says.
It抯 a restaurant I抳e always wanted to try, but this is weird, us agreeing with each other. 揥hat if I hate Mediterranean food??I challenge.
揟hen it would be pretty bizarre that you go get it on the three days you eat lunch. Salad with feta and hummus and grilled chicken.?
How the hell does he know what I eat three days a week? It抯 unsettling.
揑 see your poisoning scheme has been in the works for some time,?I finally say, because it抯 safer than wondering too hard about why he knows my lunch order.
He laughs to himself, as if he抯 participating in a different version of our story than I am, and kisses me before reaching for the doorknob. 揝tay put. I抣l knock if it抯 clear.?
A moment later the knock comes, and I step into the light, my teeth sinking into my lip. There are terrifying things inside me right now梘ratitude, hope, fear. I don抰 want to let any of them grow.
揟hanks,?I say quietly.
揝ix fifteen tomorrow,?he says. 揑抣l drive.?
揧ou don抰 have to棓
揑抦 not letting you chicken out of this, Gemma.?
I抦 about to argue that I wouldn抰 chicken out of anything, but that抯 entirely untrue.
I抳e been hiding under the covers for the two years since Ben arrived.
24
I meet Ben in the garage and agree to let him drive. Bavel is far enough from the office that we抮e unlikely to be seen together, but I抳e brought some files with me just in case.
揂re you okay??he asks, giving me a sidelong glance as he pulls out.
No, because this feels like a terrible idea on every front imaginable. 揑 guess I just never foresaw eating dinner with you by choice after you stole Brewer Campbell from me. Past Gemma is highly disappointed in Present Gemma.?
揃ut she didn抰 mind you sleeping with me repeatedly??he asks with a grin, and I squirm in my seat.
揟hose were spur-of-the-moment mistakes.?Mistakes I clearly plan to repeat. 揟his is intentional.?
He laughs, because he knows I抦 full of shit. 揃rewer Campbell was not my fault. I had no idea until you started giving me death stares at every meeting that the client Fields assigned me was supposed to go to you.?
I sigh. Holding that grudge has made me feel safe from him, somehow, but I guess it was no longer working anyway. 揧ou could have at least sent some of the Brewer Campbell work my way,?I mutter.
揑t would have been awkward with you giving me the finger and telling me to go fuck myself every time I approached,?he replies, and I give in and laugh, because yeah卼hat sounds like me.
He hands his car keys to a valet then walks me inside the restaurant, which is intimate and romantic梬hite tablecloths and candlelight.
揑s this where you bring all your nineteen year olds??I ask as we take our seats.
He sighs and laughs at once, as if I抦 both amusing and tedious. 揑f only you had any dating history to speak of so I could ridicule you as well.?
揑抳e dated.?
揥ho? Thomas??he demands. 揟ell me, Gemma, where exactly was he a chef??
That抯 really not a topic I want to get into. 揕et抯 keep the past in the past.?
His triumphant smile isn抰 nearly as annoying as it should be.
He opens the menu. 揑s Malbec okay??he asks.
I nod, trying not to let on how much I like that he asked. A man who can抰 even make sure you like red wine before he orders isn抰 going to worry about your feelings when he starts wanting to fuck his secretary, either.
When the waiter departs, I half expect awkward silence to descend. I抦 on the cusp of bringing up Lawson, just to fill the space, but somehow we end up talking about other things, and we just don抰 stop. We discuss whether the new justice will affect the makeup of the court, how California should be dealing with the drought, whether Becky in accounting is sleeping with the UPS guy. And sure, we spend a fair amount of that time arguing, but it抯協un. I can抰 remember the last time I wasn抰 counting the minutes until a date ended, but with Ben, it almost feels like it抯 going too fast. Dinner is served, and there抯 so much to say, so much to hear, that I have to remind myself to eat.
Until he asks about Iceland, that is.