“Since the ice age.” He smiled. “We kept things fresh by writing love notes. I saved them all. My favorite was one she’d left for me after a fight. It said: I considered smothering you with a pillow last night but didn’t.”
Everyone laughed, but no one harder than Levi’s dad.
Levi’s mom gave him a long, hard look.
He winked at her.
Then she smiled.
“Peyton, slow down on that bread or you’ll choke,” Tess said. “Remember last week when you tried to shove a whole piece in?”
“What happened?” Jane asked.
“I throwed up,” Peyton announced. “All over. My throwed-up ate Grandma’s new pillow.”
“Stomach acid is strong enough to dissolve stainless steel,” Levi said.
“Seriously?” Tess asked him. “Gross.”
“Levi, we don’t talk about stomach acid at the table,” his mom said.
Levi reached for his wineglass and drained it. He should have started with that.
Jane smiled at him.
Yep, she was having a great time.
“Mommy says she has to walk around the block for every piece of bread she eats,” Peyton said. “She said she could’ve walked to Hawaii by now.”
“I’m not walking my bread off,” his dad said. “I’m old. Old people don’t have to walk if they don’t want to.”
“Amen,” Lloyd said.
“I walk 10,000 steps a day,” Levi’s mom said proudly.
“When I’m working, I get well over 20,000,” Jane said. “Yesterday I got 24,000.”
“Wow.” Tess shook her head. “All I get from work is the occasional dick pic.”
Levi’s mom choked. “What?”
“Oh yes,” Tess said. “And it’s disgusting. I mean, a real man gets out there and disappoints women in person.”
“You know you could just turn off your AirDrop, right?” Levi asked.
Tess shrugged. “Sure, but it’s probably going to be a while until I see one in person, so . . .”
“What’s a dix pic?” Peyton wanted to know.
“Changing the subject now,” his mom said, looking horrified. She turned to Jane. “You work so hard. I can’t imagine all you go through on a daily basis. I always wanted to be a nurse, but I chickened out. I’d hoped one of my kids would be a nurse, but Tess loves working at the store, and Levi . . .” She looked at him like he was a puzzle she was missing a few pieces on. “He just wanted to play on the computer. How many steps did you get yesterday?”
Levi shook his head. “I don’t know, Mom.”
“You should look. I don’t think it’s healthy for you to sit at a computer all day.”
“I ran five miles this morning.”
“I’m just saying.”
“You’re just saying what?” he asked.
His dad pointed at him with his fork. “Don’t sass your mom. She just means you spend a lot of time making big, fancy presentations when you could be doing something else.”
“Do you mean the PowerPoint that I created to show you what Cal had done? Because—” He was about to put a whole lot more “sass” out there, but then felt Jane’s hand on his leg again.
“I think it was really sweet of you to make that presentation,” she said, smiling at him before turning to everyone else. “He was really worried about how to tell you all. I think it’s impressive that he was also able to lay out the proof in case of prosecution, and also to figure out a fix for you.”