Everyone looked at Levi as if seeing him for the first time.
“We really are so incredibly happy he brought the woman he loves home to meet us,” his mom said.
Levi choked on his last bite of bread and nearly died, but his know-it-all sister pounded him on the back and revived him.
Jane kissed him on the cheek, probably in thanks for not leaving her with his crazy family. “Oh, and Shirl,” she said, “you could totally be a nurse if you wanted. It’s never too late.”
His mom nudged her husband. “You hear that, Hank? I think I should. I’m going to go back to school to be a nurse!”
His dad looked at her. “Since when?”
“Since now. I put my life on hold to raise the kids, and now they’re raised. One of them is even in a good relationship.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Tess said dryly.
Levi’s dad was staring at his mom. “If you get to go back to school, then I get to go buy that Camaro I’ve always wanted.”
“How is that the same as going back to school to better myself?”
“I bet my car is cheaper than your school.”
“Are the car and nursing school free?” Levi asked. “Because as you both now know, you’re currently broke.”
“But you’re fixing it all,” his mom said. “See? I read your whole PowerPoint and listened in at the meeting with the lawyer.”
Levi looked at his steak knife and wondered if he could hit his own carotid artery in one try.
“And anyway,” his mom went on, “we’re at rock bottom, right? Things can’t get worse than this, so why not dream big.”
“I found a Camaro I want,” his dad said, bent over his phone.
“Wait a minute,” Levi said. “You can find a car to buy online in less than two minutes, but not your own email?”
“I have to poop!” Peyton yelled.
“I’m pregnant,” Tess said. “Pass the peas?”
And then she burst into tears.
“Tess?” her mom asked, looking horrified.
“I peed on a stick this morning and it turned b-b-blue,” Tess wailed. “And no amount of walking around the block is going to be able to hide it soon enough. So you can stop hounding Levi now, I’ve got your grandbaby number two.” She blew her nose noisily into her napkin and looked at Levi. “You’re welcome.”
Things deteriorated pretty quickly after that. Levi had nearly had to restrain his father from leaving the house and going after Cal to “tear him apart with his bare hands,” only to be reminded by his mom that no one knew where Cal actually was. He did calm down after Levi promised that yes, they had enough evidence to put the guy away.
His mom was surprisingly serene about the whole thing. Of course, Tess’s surprise pregnancy worked for her, giving her two grandbabies growing up right here in her house. Plus, she had Jane on backup, who’d said she’d like to be a mom someday . . .
After dessert, he walked Jane and her grandpa out to her car. Lloyd shook Levi’s hand and thanked him for the best home meal he’d had since his wife had passed twenty years earlier. Then he got into the passenger seat of Jane’s car and shut the door, giving Levi and Jane some privacy.
“That was fun,” Jane said.
“You have a very odd sense of fun.”
This made her laugh. “They’re great, Levi. And they love you so much.”
“So . . . you’re not scarred for life?”