I wave my hand. “How could you talk about this like it doesn’t bother you?”
He frowns. “Because I got to a point where I learned to expect it from other people. You can’t be bothered by something you already anticipate happening.”
“I thought these kinds of things only happened in movies.” I don’t know what makes me more ill—the idea of Rowan with another woman or a woman trying to purposefully trap him with a baby.
“I’m only scraping the surface. Each situation was a learning lesson for me—a way to prove that my brothers were right about how shitty people are.”
My lips part. “How did you survive growing up in a place like that?”
“Because you either bend to the will of monsters or you easily become the prey.”
I blink twice, waiting for the end of the joke, yet Rowan’s jaw remains clamped shut.
“Is that why you lied? Because you’re so used to people doing the same thing to you?”
There it is. The truth laid out right in front of us, waiting for his confirmation.
“I did it because I thought I was justified. I had no reason to trust you at all, and I never imagined I would feel all this.”
“Feel what?”
He lifts his glasses and rubs his eyes. “I’m bound to fuck all this up.”
I release a shaky breath. “Okay, well, try your best not to.”
He pushes his plate away from him. “My initial reason for speaking to you was selfish and cruel. I was interested in uncovering the kind of person you were. I honestly thought you were a fraud, and I wanted to prove myself right.”
His words hurt. I thought his intentions might have been misplaced but sweet, but this alternative is the worst-case scenario.
“I feel sorry for someone like you who grew up surrounded by so many vicious people. I really do.”
His upper lip curls. “There’s a reason we live by the motto money over morals.”
“There are two ways to be rich in life, and one of them has nothing to do with a bank account.”
“I see that now. I see that in you.”
My heartbeat picks up, pounding harder against my sternum as if it wants to tell Rowan it’s listening too.
His eyes remain locked on mine. “I thought you would extort me for money after that kiss. Part of me anticipated it, if only to prove you were just as selfish as the rest of us. Because how could you not want to milk me for money if I harassed you like I did. There were times I even wondered if you would attempt something else to only exacerbate the issue.”
“That’s sad, Rowan. I told you I wouldn’t do that.”
“I don’t have a good track history with trust.”
“Yeah, I see.” And it makes me so damn sad.
I walked in here expecting to not fall for anything Rowan said because in my head, I thought nothing would be good enough. But this reality…it’s tragic. The kind of life he has lived up until this point is anxiety-provoking. I’d rather be poor and happy than rich and miserable any day of the year.
“You proved me wrong every time you spoke to me. You didn’t even know who I was and you were willing to make me feel like I mattered to someone.”
My whole resolve crumbles in front of me like a house of cards.
“I was proud to make your drawings. It made me feel happy to make you happy.” His voice cracks and I feel the sound straight through my heart.
His eyes find mine. “As I spent time getting to know you, I confirmed my deepest suspicion in a completely different way. You are so much more than you let on—but in a way that makes you priceless.”