She’s swinging hard already, and I feel every blow. Shoving my hands in my jeans, I toe a loose rock that edges her garden back into place with my boot. “What was the dream about?”
She bites her lip, lifting her faraway gaze when she speaks. “I guess if I had to Freud it up, the interpretation would be that I don’t really know you.” She resumes her place on her knees. “I don’t know your brand of toothpaste.”
“That’s an easy fix. What else happened?”
“I don’t remember.”
“You’re lying. I’m willing to bet you’re out here because of that dream. Because I know you.”
She lets out a labored breath. “I need to get this done.”
“It’s called multi-tasking,” I again kneel and nudge her to the side to share workspace. I grab another shovel from the old-fashioned wooden toolbox sitting on the stone sidewalk behind us.
“It’s early, you’re tired, and I don’t need your help.”
“We’re going to be together. Today, tomorrow, and the day after, Cecelia.”
“Just…back off, Tobias.” The shake in her voice tells me all I need to know as she stands and walks over to a large bag of potting soil before dragging it my way. I don’t help because I’m fairly sure she will stab me with her little shovel if I try to come anywhere near her.
She’s angry. I expected it, but it hurts just the same. I’d forced my way into her space yesterday, much like I did when we got together, and I no longer want that to be the case, but the urge is strong.
She hangs her head as if she feels the conflict in me, although I didn’t flinch. “I don’t want to fight, Tobias.”
“Since when are you so fucking afraid of confrontation?”
“I’m not afraid.” She rips through the thick plastic easily, a very, very, angry gardener. “I just don’t have anything to say to you right now.”
“How many lies are we going to start with?”
Her dark blue eyes ice over. “I made a life here. Temporary as it may be, I’m not leaving it for you. Not again.”
“Well, I can see why. You’re on the fast track to one exciting life. Hot yoga? The Chamber of Commerce?” I fist my hands at my sides. This is an argument for a different time.
“Of course, you went snooping. Isn’t that just like you to come in and invade my privacy after years apart.”
“You knew who you were falling for.”
“Doesn’t mean I wanted to.”
“Time and separation don’t matter when it comes to us. That’s clear now.”
“But it does. It does matter. It matters to me. I know I agreed to try, but what exactly are you thinking will happen? That I’ll just fall back into place, no questions asked, legs spread, heart wide open? I’m not that girl anymore, Tobias, and I’m no longer that woman, either.”
“This is you we’re talking about, so I fucking know better. If you weren’t capable of being that woman anymore, the one who forgives and loves the way only you can, I wouldn’t have slept in your bed last night. As far as plans go, I don’t know because we haven’t talked yet the way we need to, or made a single fucking plan, together. We’re now in negotiations. What. Was. The. Fucking. Dream?”
“What else would it be?”
“I’m not leaving you. Not today, not tomorrow, and not the day after. Hell will freeze over. I’ll eat a McRib first.”
Wrong thing to say.
“You think this is funny?” She glares at me, covered in soil, her eyes gleaming with accusation and residual anger.