“Of course it isn’t, Glo.” Rolando’s hand twitches on the bench, but his fingers don’t find their way into hers. “Think of how many people whose lives have changed today because of Death-Cast. It’s only going to be too late if you wait until the last minute to start over.”
Those words should feel like a warning, but instead Gloria views it as a blessing.
“Are you starting over by quitting your job?” Gloria asks.
Rolando stares into her eyes. “It’s more than that. I’m quitting a life that doesn’t make me happy.”
Gloria wishes she could do the same. “What’s not making you happy?”
“You,” Rolando says.
It’s like her heart has been ripped out by a single word.
This whole afternoon has really been about pushing her away. Perhaps he’s too frustrated with Gloria and can’t bear to watch her go on as she has.
Before Gloria can apologize for steering her own ship as she has seen fit, Rolando apologizes.
“I’m sorry—you’re not the reason I’m unhappy. At least, not in the way you might be thinking,” Rolando says, flustered. “I spent this morning with a Decker. This old man who was my first call of the night.”
Gloria’s shredded heart is stitching itself back together.
So Rolando wasn’t on a breakfast date. He was with a man who’s dying today—who may be dead already.
“Why did you meet with him?”
And so Rolando tells Gloria about his long phone call with the man named Clint, and how he came to find himself having breakfast with him on his End Day. “I don’t want you waiting around for your life, Gloria. And more important, I don’t want you waiting around for your death. It might not be my business, but I don’t want to regret not saying anything if . . . if Frankie loses control.”
As if the worst parts of her life flash by, Gloria shudders.
“I’m sorry to bring this up,” Rolando says. “But not as sorry as I’ll be if I lose you.”
“I appreciate the concern. It’s just more complicated than you think.”
“I think it’s the opposite. It’s simpler than you think. You shouldn’t be with someone who might be your cause of death. Not when you have so much to live for.”
Gloria turns to Pazito, but she understands she should be pulling out a mirror instead.
She reminds herself that she’s important, that she matters, that she deserves a better life.
“I’m scared,” Gloria finally admits.
“I understand. Frankie is terrifying.”
“No, it’s more than that . . . I’m scared of starting over.”
Gloria looks at the park, finding her son going down a slide. He’s one of many kids who will grow up and expect for life to be smooth sailing. But Gloria’s journey has been rocky, and she’s sure that peace will be on the horizon if she throws her husband overboard. But it’s not that simple. Frankie will weigh her down like an anvil, keeping peace out of reach.
“Starting over is scary,” Rolando says. “But that’s the only way forward.”
“It’s the only way forward,” Gloria repeats with tears in her eyes.
“For me, starting over means not waiting for my End Day to admit that I’m still in love with you, Gloria. Always have been, always will be.”
Gloria sucks in a breath, as if she’s had the most amazing kiss in her life. But Rolando has not touched her. Not physically, at least. They remain seated apart and staring at one another, the sounds of children living in the background, and Gloria’s heartbeat pounding in her ears. Rolando does love her—always has, always will. Gloria believes those words with a fierceness that she never felt for Frankie’s vows. The man she should’ve married was the one standing behind her husband at the wedding.