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The Forest House (Avalon #2)(201)

Author:Marion Zimmer Bradley

“At least they have that much sense,” he muttered. “A pity they cannot extend that reasoning to cover their duty to the Emperor!”

Senara chattered on as if she had not heard, and he wondered if her babbling covered fear, but he was too charmed by the music of her voice to care much about the words. She had such innocence, like Eilan’s when she was young.

“Of course they do not ask me to sin in the Forest House, and they are good people there, but I want to be a real believer and go to Heaven. I would be afraid to be a martyr though, and I used to be afraid they would think it was my duty to die for my faith like one of the saints Mother told me about; I was only a baby but I can remember—just.

“But the government is not persecuting Christians now…” She hesitated. As Gaius was searching for something to say, she went on. “Of course, tonight, the Father was really talking about me. A few of the people in the congregation know that I am in one of the pagan temples and they despise me because I remain there—but Father Petros says I do not need to leave them until I am of age.”

“And then what?” he asked. “Will Valerius arrange a suitable marriage for you?”

“Oh no. It is most likely I will enter a holy sisterhood. In Heaven, the priests say, there is neither marrying nor giving in marriage.”

“What a waste,” Gaius declared. He had heard that one before. “I truly think the priests must be mistaken.”

“Oh no; for when the world ends you do not wish to be found with any sin upon your soul.”

Gaius said with absolute truthfulness, “It never occurred to me to be concerned about my soul, nor even to ask myself whether or not I had one.”

She stopped short and turned to him in the dark. “But how terrible,” she said very earnestly. “You do not want to be cast into the pit of hell, do you?”

“I find it a strange religion that would condemn folk for breeding children, or for the act that begets them! And as for your pit of hell, surely it is as much a fable as Tartarus or Hades. Nothing to frighten a rational man. Do you mean to tell me that you truly believe that is where those who offend against Father Petros’s rules will go?”

She stopped again and raised her face to him, white as a lily in the moonlight. “But of course I do,” she said. “You must think about your soul now, before it is too late.”

If anyone except a girl as pretty as this one had brought up such a subject to Gaius, he probably would have laughed in her face. Julia’s talk of such things bored him almost to tears. Instead he answered more gently, “If you have a care for my soul, you will simply have to help me save it.”

She said doubtfully, “I think Father Petros could help you a good deal better than I can.” They had reached the entrance to the avenue of oaks that led to the Forest House, and she stopped, frowning. “I can find my way from here; and you should certainly not come any closer. You might be seen, and then I too would be caught and punished.”

He seized her shoulders and said, half jocularly, half pleading, “Will you let me go with my soul unsaved, then? We must meet again.”

She looked troubled. “I should not say this,” she said abruptly. “But I take food to Father Petros’s hermitage at noon of every day. If you happened to be there…I suppose…we could talk then.”

“Then you shall certainly save my soul, if it can be saved,” Gaius replied. He did not care a pin about his suppositious soul; but he knew he wanted to see Senara again.

“I will never see you again—” Eilan turned abruptly away from Caillean and stared into the garden.

“That is foolish!” exclaimed Caillean, the stab of fear those words gave her turning to anger. “Now it is you who are having the foolish premonitions. It was you yourself who wanted me to go!”