Months.
Caldon had known about her for months.
And yet —
He’d still saved her.
He’d still trained her.
He’d still befriended her.
What part of this aren’t you understanding? he’d demanded after she’d returned from her grandmother’s. We care about you, Kiva.
All that time, he’d known exactly who she was.
“Why?” she breathed, incapable of anything louder. “Your family means everything to you — why didn’t you turn me in, knowing how dangerous I could be to them? To you?”
Without hesitating, Caldon said, “Because I was planning to use you.”
Kiva jolted.
“We’ve had trouble getting spies into the rebels’ inner circle, and I thought you might be our way in. All I needed was to keep you close and gain your trust. And if that didn’t work, I would’ve blackmailed you — I certainly had enough leverage.”
Despite her being the guilty party, Kiva couldn’t help feeling hurt by his admission.
“But then I started getting to know you,” he went on, “and I realized you weren’t the hateful little rebel I’d expected. By the time we left the winter palace, I knew you cared enough about Jaren that you had to be struggling with whatever plans you had. So I decided to wait and see what you’d do — who you’d choose.”
You need to choose. It’s him or us. Them or us. You can’t have it both ways. Kiva pushed her sister’s voice away and, through dry lips, asked, “Choose?”
Caldon ignored her contrived uncertainty. “I’ll admit, your staged abduction came as a surprise — though I’m guessing we have your sister to thank for that special reunion.” He frowned and added, “I still don’t know why Mirraven attacked us after I dealt with your rebel friends. That day you drugged me and took off, I was genuinely worried that they’d captured you — Mirraven, not the rebels. I knew you were safe from them.” He rolled his eyes.
“You let me drug you,” Kiva wheezed.
“I didn’t let you drug me,” Caldon argued. “I’m still mad at you for that. It’s embarrassing — you knocked me out using herbal tea.”
“And Torell,” Kiva went on, spiraling, “you told me you’re attracted to him. If you already knew who he was —”
“Have you seen him?” Caldon interrupted. “Corentine or not, anyone with functioning eyes would be attracted to him.”
Kiva rubbed her temples, but then she stopped as belated realization hit her. “You didn’t tell Jaren.”
“Everworld help me, of course that’s the only part you care about,” Caldon muttered, looking up to the heavens.
“It’s not all I care about,” Kiva defended. “But it’s pretty damn important.”
“Why’s that?” Caldon asked without mercy. “Because you know how much the truth would break his heart?”
Kiva looked away. “It was never meant to happen like this. Any of it.”
“Oh, so you didn’t intend to make us all love you enough that we wouldn’t notice when you stabbed us in the back? That wasn’t part of your plan?”
“That’s not — I didn’t — I haven’t —”
But she had. She’d left Zalindov with that very intention, to infiltrate the palace, to get to know the Vallentis family, to find their vulnerabilities, and to use what she discovered against them.
All along, that had been her task.
Her choice.
But not anymore.
Kiva was done.
She couldn’t hold on to the pain of her last ten years any longer, couldn’t justify usurping a kingdom whose heir would willingly give his life to keep his people safe. That was the kind of leader Evalon needed.
She finally understood now. Her mother’s vengeance was not her own. She could choose to forgive, to let go of old grudges and ancient betrayals and just —
And just be Kiva Meridan.
Her mother’s daughter — but her father’s, too.
Faran Meridan, the healer who inspired her dreams.
Dreams she could follow, as soon as she let go of her past.
As soon as she let go of Kiva Corentine.
At the revelation, a weight lifted from her shoulders, sudden enough that she staggered on her feet.
“I’m all right,” she whispered when Caldon reached out to steady her.
“You were thinking pretty deeply,” he said. “What’s on your mind?”