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The Guilt Trip(115)

Author:Sandie Jones

“I wonder why she called it off,” says Rachel, almost to herself, like she had a thousand times before.

“It sounded as if the incident with Noah the day before made her realize just how much she loved him,” says Maria.

Rachel can’t help but flinch at the irony that it made her realize the very same thing.

“Though, she couldn’t have known that Jack wasn’t going to take no for an answer,” says Maria.

“But to tell her that if he couldn’t have her, no one could…”

“I know,” says Maria. “I hear him saying that in my head all the time and it chills me to the bone.”

“I can’t stop myself from thinking…” says Rachel, choking back tears.

Maria gives her the strength she needs by giving her hand a squeeze.

“About what Paige must have thought when she got in that car with him. Did she think they were just going to talk? That he was going to drive her somewhere to make her see sense? Even as he drove at speed toward the terrace, did she think that it was just scare tactics and he’d stop before it was too late?”

“Yes to all of those, I’d imagine.”

“I hope she didn’t know that he was going to keep going,” says Rachel. “I hope it all happened so quickly that she had no idea of the coward that he was.”

“I would imagine, like the rest of us, she knew exactly what kind of man he was even before he jumped out. It was just too late for her to do anything about it.”

The battle to hold back her tears proves futile. “I’m so sorry,” says Rachel. “It’s all my fault. None of this would have happened if it wasn’t for me. If I’d just stopped digging, forcing people to tell the truth…”

“Listen to me,” says Maria. “You can’t allow yourself to think that what happened was your fault. There was no one else to blame but Jack.”

“Yes, but if I’d just left it alone, then we’d all be none the wiser, and Ali wouldn’t have…” She chokes on her words.

“She was always going to do right by you, no matter what,” says Maria.

Rachel smiles gratefully. “Here she is,” she says as Ali approaches them in a flowing white dress that falls in rivulets to the floor. “You look absolutely gorgeous.”

“Though, hopefully a little more conservative this time,” says Ali, laughing as she looks down at the sweetheart neckline that just shows the very top of her cleavage. “But it’s all for Grandma Nettie, so it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”

“I’m so pleased she got to see you and Will do it all over again. How are you? How have you been?”

Ali wrinkles her nose. “Not too bad, considering the extent of my injuries. I’m still getting the odd headache, but apparently that’s very common after a brain trauma.”

Rachel nods solemnly.

“But,” says Ali, smiling widely, “my physio says there’s no reason why we can’t start trying for a baby.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful news,” says Rachel, welling up at the thought of her and Will as parents.

Ali laughs. “Chrissy cried when I told her as well.”

“How’s she doing?” asks Rachel.

“She’s getting stronger all the time. She wanted to come back for today, but I told her it would be too much.”

“So, she’s still in Portugal?” asks Rachel.

Ali nods. “Yep, still in Portugal. Still in love with Paulo’s son!”

Her optimism, as she offers a winning smile, is infectious. “What about you?” she asks, with a nod to Noah, who’s talking to Will behind her.

Rachel can’t help but grin. “It’s still early, but I’m as happy as I can ever imagine being. And I’ve just started my teacher training.”

“I’m so thrilled for you,” says Ali. “And Josh and Chloe?”

“They’re doing okay,” says Rachel. “The anniversary last week was really hard because, whichever way you look at it, Chloe’s lost her mother and, essentially, Josh has lost his dad.”

“Has he?” asks Ali, tilting her head to the side.

Rachel knows what she’s implying. “Yes,” she says. “He has.”

Ali offers an awkward half smile, as if she doesn’t know if that’s good news or not. If Rachel were honest, she’s not quite sure herself. But at least it means the past twenty years haven’t all been a lie.