Ali looks down at the floor, and Rachel wants to slap her, to make her hurry up, if nothing else. “I just need you to know that, whatever happens, I want us to promise that we’ll always be friends.”
Rachel’s lips stick to her gums as she forces a smile. “What could possibly happen that would mean that we wouldn’t be?”
“You know how families can be,” says Ali. “Brothers fall out, people mess up. But you’ve been so kind to me since I’ve been seeing Will, and I want you to know that I’ll be forever grateful for that. I’ll always be here for you in return, no matter what.”
Ali pulls Rachel in for a hug, throwing her arms around her and holding on, as if her life depends on it. “Thank you,” she says, pulling away with tears in her eyes. “Oh, bloody hell, I’m going to cry again.”
Rachel looks at the woman standing in front of her, like really looks at her, as if she’s trying to get a glimpse into her soul, to see if what she’s saying is heartfelt. But Ali’s fixed smile thwarts any attempt to see what’s behind it, leaving Rachel to surmise that it’s probably all a crock of shit.
“Anyway, we should probably get going,” says Ali, turning away. “Can you just do the top buttons on this corset? It’s barely letting me breathe, let alone reach around to do it up.”
Rachel hooks the silk loops over the three buttons and smooths down any errant fabric. “You’re good to go,” she says.
Ali steps into a pair of peep-toe stilettos, the lace of which matches her dress, and picks up the posy of fuchsia bougainvillea and white clematis from the chair.
“Oh my God!” she shrieks, just as Rachel puts her hand on the door handle. “I almost forgot.”
Rachel turns to see her picking up a delicate silver necklace off the dressing table. “He will absolutely kill me if I don’t wear this,” says Ali, holding it out. “Could you just put this on for me?”
Rachel takes the chain, the weight of its significance bearing down heavily on every part of her. Her hands shake uncontrollably as she attempts to open the fiddly clasp and pass it around Ali’s neck.
The silver heart lies perfectly flat between Ali’s clavicles, while Rachel feels like hers has been torn out of her chest, and is flatlining on the floor.
18
“You look lovely,” says Noah as they meet in the hallway.
“Our car’s ready,” she says, desperately trying to keep her voice from wavering. “We should get going if we’re going to be there before Ali.”
“Rach,” he says, taking hold of her wrist as she turns to go out the front door.
“Don’t.” She doesn’t even attempt to look at him.
“You can’t just pretend this isn’t happening,” he says.
“I’m going to do exactly that,” hisses Rachel in a hushed voice.
“Hey, you two,” calls Paige from outside. “Let’s go.”
“Coming,” says Rachel through a false smile.
“You okay?” asks Paige, casually putting a hand on Rachel’s leg once they’re in the car.
She nods.
“If at any time it gets too much, just say the word and we’ll split, okay?”
Rachel looks at her, unable to believe that she deserves such a good friend. The nicer she is, the more wretched Rachel feels about the secret she’s been keeping for so long. It’s as if she’s living on borrowed time because she knows that once Paige finds out that she and Noah have been lying all this time, there’s going to be no pulling her back from the storm of fury she’s going to rain down on them.
But for now, Paige smiles warmly, making Rachel’s blood turn icy cold. She searches Paige’s eyes for a hidden agenda, a sign that she knows more than she’s letting on, but all she sees is a naivety that only serves to show Rachel how toxic her own thoughts and actions are. Her chest rises and falls at the enormity of how selfish she’s been, wanting her perfect little life to continue without ruing the consequences of something she did twenty years ago. And how dishonest she’s been, to profess that Josh is Jack’s child, when there may be even the slightest chance that he isn’t.
“Thanks,” says Rachel, barely audibly.
“What’s going on?” asks Noah. “Is everything all right?”
Paige looks at Rachel with raised eyebrows, as if asking permission to bring him up to speed. Rachel finds it hard to believe that she hasn’t already, but if she had, then the topic of conversation would have been different on the terrace. If Noah had the slightest notion that Ali and Jack were at it, he would most likely have already taken Jack out by now. He wouldn’t stand for Rachel being treated like that and he would most certainly have taken the opportunity to tell her how she deserves better. No, he can’t know, and she doesn’t want him to because it will only make things even more complicated than they already are.