“You know me…” she says, looking down at herself, hoping that she doesn’t look like a great big round yellow blob. “Always trying to bring a little sunshine into the world.”
Bob smiles before extending his hand to Noah.
“You’ve met Noah and Paige before, haven’t you?” Rachel asks.
“Yes, a couple of times over the years,” says Bob, before shaking Paige’s hand.
Val does the same. “You’re Rachel’s friend from university, aren’t you?” she says to Noah.
Just the association being acknowledged makes Rachel’s nerves jangle. She imagines him replying, And lover actually, albeit just once, though there’s every chance it resulted in me fathering the grandchild you dote on.
“How’s the groom feeling?” she says, turning to Will. “You okay?”
She knows that Jack is standing beside him, but can’t bring herself to look at him, knowing that if she does, she’s likely to want to punch him in the face.
Will shakes himself down, as if trying to rid any last-minute doubt. “She is coming, isn’t she?” he asks apprehensively.
“Of course she is,” says Rachel, while keeping everything crossed that by some divine intervention she isn’t. It won’t make what Ali and Jack are doing any less painful, but it will make the fallout a lot easier to deal with if she’s not already married into the family. At least for Will, in some small way.
“You okay?” asks Jack, as if sensing something’s wrong. She can think she’s hiding it all she likes; congratulating herself on how she’s going to be able to keep this under wraps until the wedding is over. But Jack will be able to tell from the set of her jawline, the lack of eye contact and the way her lips are pressed tightly together that she’s not happy.
“Fine,” she says tightly. “Will, where do you want us to sit?”
“Erm … anywhere,” he says, looking up toward the top of the wooden stairs, desperately searching for confirmation that his bride is going to turn up. “Anywhere in this row.” He points to the chairs behind his.
Rachel glances across the aisle to where Ali’s family is congregated and catches her mum’s eye. They nod their heads at each other, but Maria, Rachel notices, holds her gaze for a little longer. Rachel wonders if she knows what her daughter is up to, if she’s even positively encouraging it.
Will suddenly whacks Jack with his arm and hurriedly turns to face the ocean, implying that Rachel’s wish has been denied: Ali is here. A lone singer, whom she hadn’t even noticed before now, launches into a cover of Norah Jones’s “Come Away With Me.”
“I cannot wait to see what she’s wearing,” hisses Paige next to her. “Although perhaps I should rephrase that to what she isn’t wearing, because that is bound to be the order of the day.”
Rachel stays focused on the waves as they edge ever closer to the gazebo, and wonders if it might save her the trouble if a tsunami came and washed them all away. She immediately hates herself for allowing the abominable thought to even enter her head.
She watches Jack’s shoulders, so rigid in his fitted jacket, as if he’s forcing himself to stay facing forward. His hands are clasped in front of him and a vein throbs in the side of his neck. If anyone were looking on, they’d think he was the groom. Rachel can’t stop herself from wondering what he must be thinking. Has he begged Ali not to go through with it? Promised her that they could be together if she doesn’t? Or was this turning him on? Knowing that once today is over, he’ll be able to shag his brother’s wife.
She thinks back to last night, in their room, when he’d wanted to have sex, and a tiny glimmer of hope ripples through her that she might have gotten this all wrong. If he was so hung up on Ali, why would he want to make love to her? She almost laughs out loud at her naivety when it dawns on her that that was precisely why he was desperate: he’d been watching his mistress strut around all night, in a dress that left absolutely nothing to the imagination, and no doubt Ali had teased him mercilessly whenever she could get away with it too, showing him what he was missing out on. Who knows? Maybe they even managed a quick fumble when no one was looking. Which would all go to prove why Jack would have been climbing the walls by the time they got home. It wouldn’t have mattered who it was; he’d probably have just closed his eyes and pictured Ali anyway.
The thought makes her feel sick and if she had a knife right now, she’d fancy shoving it right between his twitching shoulder blades.