This isn’t going as well as Rachel hoped. She’s going to have to spell it out to her. “Last night, at the restaurant, I heard her tell you that she wasn’t ready to have children.”
At this, Rachel notices, Kimberley balks, showing the first sign that she may have hit some common ground.
“But just the night before, she was telling Will that she couldn’t wait to start a family with him and that she wanted to start trying immediately.”
Kimberley pulls herself up, as if doing so will better equip her to deal with the mud that Rachel’s slinging.
“It’s a pretty big deal,” Rachel pushes on. “She’s either desperate for them or she isn’t, but to lie to Will about something so important on the eve of their wedding is callous and cruel.”
Kimberley nods her head as if she’s in full agreement. “I understand your concern,” she says. “But I really don’t think you should be too worried about what she said to Will.”
Rachel looks at her, taken aback. “But if she’s lied to him—”
“She hasn’t lied to him,” says Kimberley, cutting her off.
“But how do you know?”
“Because she lied to me,” says Kimberley. “And I don’t blame her.”
Rachel can’t get her head around what Kimberley’s saying, or why she’s so accepting of the fact. How is Ali always seemingly forgiven, no matter what she does?
“I’m sorry,” says Rachel. “I don’t understand.”
Kimberley wipes a tear away. “Oh goodness, I’m sorry,” she says, as if embarrassed.
Rachel can’t help but put an arm around the woman’s shoulders. “I really didn’t mean to upset you.”
“It’s not you,” says Kimberley. “It’s just the situation. I just feel so sad that she felt the need to lie. It’s my fault. I made her do it.”
“What do you mean?” asks Rachel. “How can her lying to you be your fault?”
Kimberley takes a deep breath. “I lost my baby six months ago.”
“Oh my God,” gasps Rachel.
“I was almost full-term, but for reasons we’ll probably never know, it wasn’t to be.”
“I’m so sorry,” says Rachel, feeling gut-wrenchingly horrified that she’s making this woman, who she barely knows, recall the most unimaginable pain possible.
“Ali was with me when it happened, and she stayed by my side until my husband was able to get home from where he was stationed abroad.”
Rachel can feel a tightening at the back of her throat, but she doesn’t know whether it’s in response to what Kimberley’s been through or the realization that Ali might have had a reason for lying.
“She’s been truly incredible ever since, making me laugh with her escapades and crying with me when I needed her to. I’ve been a limpet on her resources, selfishly draining her boundless optimism, when she should have been looking forward to this.” She looks around. “Of course she wants children—she’s always wanted them—I’ve just made it very hard for her to admit that lately.”
A panic is beginning to engulf Rachel, a vise-like grip that is snaking its way around her chest, making it difficult to breathe. “So…” she manages. “She lied to protect you?”
Kimberley nods. “Yes, but that doesn’t make her a bad person.”
No, it doesn’t, thinks Rachel as she numbly walks away. In fact, it makes her an even better person than most.
She looks out onto the terrace and sees Jack and Paige together, as if through new eyes. Jack’s face is intense as he looks at her, dragging hard on a cigarette, before tilting his head up skywards to exhale a perfectly straight line of smoke into the night sky.
Paige is more pensive, surprisingly unconfident in her own skin, taking small furtive puffs and expelling them quickly. They look like a couple with a big problem. Rachel can’t help but wonder if it’s her.
“What the hell’s going on?” asks Noah, coming up beside her. They both silently look out at Jack and Paige for a moment.
Rachel turns to look at him. “I don’t think she’s told them,” she says, unable to believe Ali might have kept her mouth shut.
“She definitely hasn’t,” says Noah. “Because Paige has just apologized and told me she loves me.”
Rachel doesn’t know which of those anomalies leaves the bitterest taste. She pulls herself up, surprised by her own feelings.