SIXTY-NINE
THINGS HAD HAPPENED FAST after Daniel told me how Gus had joked that they should switch riders. I’d laughed it off at first. He didn’t, telling me that the more he’d thought about it, the more he didn’t think it was such a crazy idea.
“Your mother is desperate for things to be the way they used to be,” he said, “which means before her fall, which means when I was her trainer. And the more I think about the two of us, the more I think you might need someone to be tougher on you than I could ever be.”
Before I could say anything, he said, “Talk about it with your mother. See what she thinks.”
“What do you think?”
“Talk about it with her.”
Mom made it easy, said she was willing to try anything at this point. She was the one who made the decision to leave Coronado at Gus’s, at least for now, saying she didn’t want us to get in each other’s way, and that her horse was settled there. Daniel went over there every morning to work with her.
And Gus Bennett came to me, at the top of his voice from the time the driver’s-side door to his van opened and the wheelchair platform would extend, before slowly lowering him to the ground.
“You’re not riding Coronado anymore!” he yelled now. “Your horse drifts to the right, in case you forgot!”
He’d told me the same thing when I’d finished in the International Arena the day before. I had forgotten, just for an instant. It had still cost me a rail. After that, I had gotten a second rail and nearly missed qualifying.
All of it on me.
With Daniel, I used to answer back all the time—smart-mouthing was part of our deal.
Gus Bennett? No way in hell.
“Don’t overcorrect! Keep her straight!”
I came back around. He’d set four jumps. I cleared them all this time.
“I thought you said today was going to be light jumping.”
“Well, Becky,” he said, “I lied.”
As tough as he was, though, I could see why Mom had once had a crush on him. Maybe still did, for all I knew. He was still handsome as hell. But it was more than that. He was as real as anybody I’d ever known. Without an ounce of self-pity in him. And pity anyone who didn’t see that.
Gus Bennett made you ignore the chair, is what he did.
“Again,” he said to me.
I managed another clear round on the mini-course.
“Okay,” he said.
“You mean okay as in, good job there, Becky?”
“Okay as in, we’re done for today,” he said.
I didn’t wait for Emilio, hopped down off Sky myself, handed Emilio the reins. Gus gunned the Zinger to life then, spraying dirt in all directions, and headed straight for me.
“You’re already tired of me,” he said. “Admit it, you won’t hurt my feelings.”
“You have feelings?” I said, and was instantly sorry.
Told him I was.
“I know what you meant,” he said.
He paused.
“But anytime you want your old trainer back, all you have to do is say the word.”
“I will,” I said. “But I don’t.” I grinned. “Are you sure you want to train me?”
“Hell, yes,” he said.
Gus Bennett actually smiled then. Didn’t last for very long. The moment was there and gone. Like the sun peeking through the big cloud cover and then disappearing again. But I knew I’d seen it.
“I know you think this trainer swap was your call, Becky,” he said. “Yours and your mom’s. It wasn’t. It was mine.”
“But why?”
Then he told me why.
“Of course, if you ever tell anybody that,” he said, “I might have to kill you.”
“You know what?” I said. “I believe you.”
“Maybe you are learning,” Gus Bennett said.
SEVENTY
Daniel
DANIEL WAS NOW SEEING from Maggie what Gus had been seeing on a daily basis.
That she had lost her confidence.
She didn’t need a full psychological work-up or a therapist to explain to her that she had come back too quickly from the accident. Maggie was smart enough to know why she was in this dark a place, this quickly. A perfect storm.
Perfect shitstorm.
Gus had seen it even before she’d gotten back into the International. He’d tried everything to get her past this, or through it. He’d even admitted that he’d invited her to the Trophy Room on purpose the night he’d been there with Daniel. He’d wanted to challenge her pride. Nothing had changed the next day in Gus’s ring. She’d circled again. It’s why he’d suggested to Daniel that they switch riders.