That was a good point.
“You still did not answer my question. Are you sad because Rutger doesn’t want you to marry Jorgen?”
Again, Odette took her time answering. “I don’t believe Rutger would stop me from marrying a poor man if I wanted to marry him, but perhaps it would be selfish of me.” Jorgen couldn’t help her feed the children like Mathis Papendorp could. Marrying Jorgen seemed selfish for many reasons.
“But Jorgen is not exactly poor. He is not the wealthy burgher you would be expected to marry as Rutger’s niece, but he does have some status as the margrave’s forester.” After a moment of silence, Anna asked, “Would you marry him if he asked you?”
Would she marry the man who would hate her if he found out she was poaching? That seemed a bit self-destructive. And yet . . . “I like him very much.”
“Ja, ja.” Anna’s tone urged Odette to go on.
“I enjoy talking to him.”
“Ja, ja.”
Sometimes she wondered what it would be like to kiss him or be embraced by him, but she wasn’t ready to admit that to Anna. “I think he is handsome.”
“You would be blind not to.”
“But I cannot go around falling in love with and marrying every man I talk to. No, I would not.”
“Oh, Odette. Why are you so guarded? What are you so afraid of?”
Was she guarded? Wasn’t it wise to be guarded? “I don’t want to get my heart broken. I only have one heart, you know.” But it wasn’t that. She was willing enough to risk her heart. But she wasn’t yet willing to sacrifice the children who depended on her for food.
It was increasingly difficult not being able to tell Anna everything. But what choice did she have?
Odette awoke with a start. She had been dreaming about falling into a deep pit. Where was she? Was she too late to go hunting? Someone was breathing in the same room where she slept. Oh yes. That was Anna. She was sleeping at Anna and Peter’s house.
Odette slid off the side of the bed. Quickly and as quietly as she could, she got dressed. It was not far to her own house, and she would change into her hunting clothes and retrieve her longbow and arrows.
Anna made a sound in her sleep. She turned over, her arm flopping down on Odette’s pillow. Odette held her breath. Was Anna still asleep? Or was she opening her eyes and realizing that Odette was no longer in bed?
Anna’s deep breaths started again, a little raspy and just loud enough and regular enough to assure Odette that she was asleep.
Holding her breath, Odette slipped out.
Once she had gone home and changed, she found the three boys who accompanied her. They were sitting in their usual rendezvous spot, but they were all asleep. One of them awoke as she approached and pushed the shoulders of the other two, waking them. Silently they all moved forward into the dark forest.
Hoping to have better fortune than she had had the night before, Odette moved to one of her favorite spots to watch and wait. She had not frequented this place in a few weeks. Perhaps this was where the deer were feeding now.
Odette squatted, an arrow nocked and ready. She kept her eyes trained on the tiny clearing several feet in front of her since the deer were typically so silent she would never hear them. So she waited, her eyes burning.
How lovely to be asleep in bed just now. No doubt Anna would awake in the morning and either come looking for her or send a servant. Odette would have to rise and assure her she was well, pretending she was not still exhausted from being out all night.
But she did not want anyone to go hungry simply because she would rather be in bed sleeping. She had not been able to kill anything the night before. She could not fail a second night.
She heard a slight rustling sound. A large stag appeared. Odette had anticipated him, so she was already aiming. As soon as he stilled, she let the arrow fly.
It found its mark. The deer took two steps, then fell to the ground.
The three boys leapt into action from behind her. They raced toward the hart and began the hard work of readying him for being transported out of the woods.
“Who is there?” a man’s voice called.
The boys all stopped what they were doing and stood perfectly still—as still as Odette’s heart. But then it began to beat again, so hard it hurt her chest.
A crack sounded not far away, then another, as someone was walking toward them.
The boys started running. Odette turned and ran as one of the boys flew by her.
“Halt!”
16
TREE LIMBS SLAPPED her in the face as she ran through them. She stumbled over roots and bushes, but she kept going. Her heart was slamming against her chest, and the smell of sweat and animal blood filled her nostrils, even though there couldn’t have been any blood near her.