Even Will, who was emotionally reserved in a way that the others were not, she knew about his time at boarding school, his militarily minded father, his softhearted mum, his acrimonious breakup with April’s friend Olivia. She knew which tutors he hated and what he planned to specialize in next year.
But Hugh—Hugh she had known none of what was going through his head, until he told her. Now she felt a rush of sympathy for him, dealing with his academic worries by himself. Sure, he had Will, but Will had dozens of friends—and April, of course. Hugh had just one, and for the first time she realized how lonely it must be for him when Will was away, or wrapped up with April.
“You should have said something,” she said now. “I had no idea you were so worried. And why did you come to April’s first night? You should have told her to piss off.”
“Oh well.” Hugh’s face twisted. “I just… she was so worked up, you know? And April… she’s not very easy to say no to.”
Hannah said nothing. That she could understand.
“I can’t afford to cock this up,” Hugh said as they passed underneath the Cherwell Arch, which separated Old Quad from the Fellows’ Garden. “My parents aren’t well off, you know. Not like Will’s. My father’s just a GP, my mother’s a stay-at-home mum. They really scrimped and saved to send me to private school, and Pelham—well, it’s all they’ve ever wanted. My dad went here, and he was so proud when I got in after him. I’m an only child so I’m really—I’m all they’ve got. I can’t let them down. I just can’t.”
“You won’t,” Hannah said, surprised by the desperation in his voice. She squeezed his arm, feeling his thin muscles tense beneath his jacket. “And you know what, even if you have failed, which I don’t think you have, so what? They’ll still love you, won’t they?”
Hugh only shrugged again, and then, as if trying to change the subject, he cleared his throat and said, “I can feel your goose bumps. Do you want my jacket?”
It was folded over his arm and Hannah stopped, facing him, and touched his face for a moment.
“Hugh, why are you so kind?” she asked, and Hugh gave a little shrug.
“I don’t know. Just that kind of ass, I suppose.”
“You’re a lovely ass,” Hannah said, and smiled. “And thank you.”
She took the jacket, slung it over her shoulders, and turned to face the Fellows’ Garden, the grass silvered with dew. An idea occurred to her.
“Do you… fancy breaking the rules? It’s the last week of term. They can hardly send us down.”
For a moment Hugh didn’t seem to understand what she was saying. Then his worried face broke into a smile.
“You’re on.”
They unlinked arms and ran across the pristine, untouched expanse, the dew-soaked grass soft beneath their feet. When they got to the other side, they were both breathless and Hannah looked back and saw the imprints of their footsteps, a dark guilty green against the pale jeweled tips of the untouched blades, and stifled a sudden desire to laugh.
As they passed through the wrought iron gate into New Quad, she was grinning, and she opened her mouth to say something—later she could never remember what—and then stopped. A figure was coming out of one of the staircases. A figure that looked very like… it couldn’t be.
She stopped short.
Hugh continued for a couple of paces and then realized that she had ground to a halt, and turned to see what was wrong.
“Hannah?”
“Shh!” she hissed peremptorily, and then pointed to the other side of the quad. They were standing in the shadow of a tall yew, and she was fairly sure that they were not visible to the man opposite as he plodded slowly down the far side, making his way towards the cloisters.
“Hugh,” she whispered urgently, trying to keep her voice low but loud enough for him to hear. “Hugh, is that, is that—Neville?”
Hugh peered after the departing figure, then took off his glasses, wiped them on his shirt, and put them back on, squinting at the shape as it disappeared towards the cloister side of the quad.
“Um… could be? He’s about the right build. Why?”
“Because I’m fairly sure he was coming out of staircase seven. Out of my staircase,” she spelled out, as Hugh looked at her blankly.
“Do you think he was looking for you?” Hugh asked, after a long moment’s pause. Hannah wrapped her arms around herself. Suddenly she was shivering, in spite of the balmy summer night.