“Settle down,” I said.
“No white man’s ever gonna want you, Ellie. You think Reed’ll take you back once you been with one of them?” He nodded toward the circle.
“I’m doing really important work here,” I said, ignoring his question. “I tried to explain it to Daddy but—”
“Do you know the FBI has your name? They have the names of all you SCOPE people. All the … Martin Luther King fanatics.”
“I don’t believe that,” I said. “And so what, anyway? Are you crying?” There were tears in Buddy’s eyes and I stepped forward to wrap him in my arms. “You’re worrying too much,” I said softly, my lips close to his ear. “I’m fine and healthy and happy and—”
He pushed me away so hard I nearly fell. “I got a friend down at the police station in Carlisle,” he said. “I know you spent a night in a jail cell. I didn’t tell Mama and Daddy because holy hell’d come down on you, Ellie, but you got to come home. Whatever you’re up to here is no good and you’re gonna get hurt. I mean, physically hurt.”
“No I’m not,” I said. “I’m not worried about it so you shouldn’t be either.”
“Has that boy touched you? Tried anything with you?”
I remembered Win’s arm around my shoulders only an hour before. “It’s none of your damn business!”
“You got to come home, Ellie.”
“Daddy told me I can’t come home again,” I said.
“You know he didn’t mean it. And there’s somethin’ he ain’t tellin’ you.”
“What?”
“He’s lost customers ’cause of you doin’ this.”
“Lost customers? Why?”
“Everybody knows you’re out here, doin’ what you’re doin’。 Tryin’ to change things when they’re just fine the way they are. Some of Daddy’s longtime customers are taking their business to the Dellaire Pharmacy. I’ve lost a few folks, myself, and Mr. Cleveland—Garner’s daddy—raised my rent by five percent on account of what you’re doin’。 Mama’s friends are givin’ her a rough time of it, too. Plenty of gossip she’s gotta deal with. So it ain’t all just about you, Ellie.”
His words upset me, I couldn’t deny it. I didn’t want my actions to hurt my family, yet I had to do what I thought was right, didn’t I? Keep my eyes on the prize. “You don’t understand,” I said. “You haven’t seen what I’ve seen these past few weeks. You don’t understand the political situation. You’ve never met the real people who suffer every single day because of the way things are.” I started to choke up with the truth of what I was saying. “You don’t know what it’s like for the people I’m trying to help.”
Blotches of color had formed on Buddy’s cheeks and neck, a telltale sign he was having trouble holding his anger in. Even as a little girl, I knew to run and hide when his cheeks turned red like that. He stood in front of me with his hands on his hips. “Right now I don’t give a shit what it’s like for those ‘real people’！” he shouted. “This has nothin’ to do with them. It has to do with how you’re hurtin’ your own kin. I’m only tryin’ to protect you against yourself, ’cause you ain’t thinkin’ right, little sister.”
“I’m not going home, Buddy,” I said.
“His name is Winston, right?” he asked, startling me. “Goes by Win?”
He knew his name. That scared me. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Which one is Win, huh? Your spook boyfriend? Which is he?”
It was all I could do to keep from smacking him. He turned to look at the circle of people. They were singing a lively “I’ll Fly Away.”
“He’s not here,” I said.
Buddy grabbed the shoulder of one of the older men in the circle. “Do you know which one of these boys is Winston?” he asked.
“Ain’t no idea,” the man said, and returned to his singing.
Buddy cupped his hands around his mouth in a megaphone. “Hey, Win!” he shouted toward the circle. “Win!”
I spotted Win, way too close to us. If only he’d been on the other side of the circle, he would stand a chance, but hearing his name, he stopped singing. Looked toward us.
“Ha!” Buddy shouted. “Son of a bitch!” He raced toward Win, who was cornered between the crowd and the brick building. Before Win had a chance to run, Buddy was on him, pulling him out of the circle, pummeling him, punching his stomach, his face, knocking off his glasses. I was next to them in a heartbeat, trying to grab Buddy’s arms, pull him away, but my brother was enraged. Rather than fight back, Win dropped to the ground. He didn’t dare try to defend himself. The do-nothing cops were just waiting for a Black person to get out of line. Buddy kicked him. “You ever come near my sister again, I’ll make sure she’s the last girl you ever touch!” He angrily grabbed my arm. I thought he was going to twist it. Break it. But he let me go, fury still in his face, and took off, disappearing around the side of the building.