“I started bringing in so much cash I realized I would raise suspicions. So I created a company called Dominus Holdings, a little inside joke. Don’t look so surprised. I have a degree from Whitney. You don’t think I could?
“It continued that way for a while, me going to the Sparrow night after night, waiting for some glimpse of him. It was my trial. I’d betrayed him, and I was being punished for it. Then one night I turned the corner and there was Rachel, dolled up slicker than I’d ever seen her. We were both shocked, but she was quicker than me. She said, ‘If you scream, I’ll kill you.’
“It took me a second to realize she thought I hated them. I said, ‘No, you’ve got it wrong. I’ve been looking for you.’
“She didn’t trust me. She said, ‘Why? You ran.’
“I was worried I wouldn’t be able to explain, because Rachel wasn’t good with emotions. I said, ‘I never wanted to leave or get you in trouble. I tried coming back, but you and Don were already gone. I’ve been looking for you ever since.’ I waved my arms at the Sparrow and said, ‘That’s why I’m here. It’s all I’ve lived for.’
“Her face was blank, and I was terrified she’d leave, tell Don, and they’d pack up again. So I dropped to my knees in the middle of the Sparrow and begged her. I said, ‘Please, take me to Don. I’m nothing without him. I’ll do anything.’
“You and I both know Rachel never actually liked us. She must’ve been glad to see me so low. Because she smiled and said, ‘I was supposed to bring back a girl anyway.’
“We drove far north to this squalid little house in a run-down town, somewhere I wouldn’t have guessed in a million years. It was so unlike Don. It was heartbreaking to see him brought so low. I found out later he was still worried about what you and I had told people and was trying to stay invisible.
“But some things hadn’t changed. He was waiting for us in the living room, sitting and reading a book, a glass of wine in his hand. When he saw me, he jumped to his feet. The look on his face… I can’t describe it, Shay. It was worth everything. He didn’t doubt me for a second. He rushed to me, swept me into his arms. It was the best moment of my life. So romantic. A homecoming.
“So I left my small life behind, used Dominus to keep covering my expenses so no one would come looking for me, and we were a family again. The way it was before, except better, because—sorry—you and Clem were gone. I had him all to myself. He finally let me in all the way, told me his dreams, what he was planning. And over the years, we’ve built it together. We created the Pater Society, a place where he could teach people and change lives, the way he did for me. You won’t believe how it’s taken off, what we’re about to do. He’s been successful beyond our wildest dreams. And I’ve shone, too. I love it here. Sewing dresses for the girls and tending Don’s house. I’m his wife, in every way that matters.
“Stop looking at me like that. Don’t you understand? Don and I are in love. We always have been. You just never wanted to see it.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
All of it, from the beginning. I thought it had been done to Laurel. But the truth was, she’d been a willing player. She’d pulled the strings with Dominus, conned the caterer, helped found the Paters. As she spoke, it all came together, the little hints of Laurel I should’ve recognized: the costumes, the masks, the games and performances, the laurel crowns—her love of theater, everywhere. The Pater Society was Don’s philosophy, brought to life by Laurel’s passion, her careful work behind the scenes. I’d assumed she hated him, was just as scared of him as I was. But those weeping fits, the catatonic depression her landlord remembered… That wasn’t poor, traumatized Laurel. It was Laurel grieving the possibility of never getting Don back.
What had I said to Jamie? I have agency, too. Yet I’d never seen Laurel’s.
“Being in love—” she started.