People I barely know approach me all day to tell me how brave I am, or that they support me and Bo, or that they have a gay cousin, or whatever. The only person who actually makes me feel better is Cesar. He and Hunter sit with us at lunch today.
“So, are you guys still gonna go to prom, or . . . ?” David asks.
“No,” Bo says, and I swear my heart shrinks a little. I try not to let my body visibly slump. Because I was really looking forward to prom. With Bo. Even if we had to pretend to be going platonically. I was so excited for this.
“Respect,” Cesar says. “Nobody cares about prom anyway. We should boycott.”
“Boycott prom? Hell yeah,” Emily says as she puts her tray down between Amber and Hunter. “Is it okay if I sit here?” she asks, and we nod, so she sits down.
“Karen, Jenna, and I are no longer friends. . . .” She sounds sad but doesn’t look it. “I didn’t know where else to sit.”
“Thank God. I was waiting for you to dump them,” Amber says.
“It’s been a long time coming, trust me,” Emily sighs. Then they all go back to discussing the prom boycott.
I think they all expect me to be happy about boycotting, but I’m not. I wanted to have a cheesy fairy-tale prom like everyone else. I just want to be salty for a minute. So I keep my mouth shut the rest of lunch. I get it. They want to stay energized, and boycotting prom makes sense after what happened. I just really wanted to go. Of all the worries I had leading up to the showcase, I never once thought I’d get in trouble for it. I didn’t think I’d get detention.
The one time I have detention after school, Cesar doesn’t. I take my time walking to my locker before I’ll have to go to the cafeteria and sit in silence for an hour. When I get there, Amber is standing in front of it, blocking my way. She doesn’t move aside when I step closer.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“Nothing! Nothing to see here!” She gives me the world’s fakest smile, back firm against my locker. “Do you have notes from religion? I totally forgot to take notes,” she rambles on.
“Amber,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady.
“I completely blanked, you know? And there’s that test on Thursday. . . .”
“What happened to my locker?” Did someone do something to it? This feels so unreal. I look around to see if anyone is watching me for a reaction. I feel like everyone’s staring at me, like they have been all day.
“You don’t have to look. I’ll clean it off,” Amber says.
“I can handle it.” I expect resistance when I go to push her out of the way, but she steps aside before I can.
UGLY DYKE
My jaw clenches, but other than that, I don’t let any emotions show on my face. I won’t give anyone the satisfaction of seeing me react. I open the locker and toss my books inside like I didn’t see shit.
“There you guys are!” Bo comes up to us, and I shut the door so she can see. Her eyes go wide for a second, then they start snapping around the courtyard, daring anyone looking at us to mind their business.
“No, let them watch,” I say, and then I reach for her hand and kiss it to piss off whoever did this.
“Are you okay?” Bo asks. Her face is a little red.
“I’m fine.” I hold her hand like a lifeline. My cheeks and ears are on fire, but I know whoever did this is watching, and I won’t let them win.
Bo lets go to unzip her bag and take out a Sharpie. She scribbles out the word UGLY and replaces it with PRETTY, and circles it with a heart. I laugh much harder than the situation calls for.
“Don’t worry,” she says, taking my hand. “They get bored quick if you don’t let it get to you.”