If Bianca and I met today instead of ten years ago, I don’t think we’d be friends. Besides our mutual love of makeup, we don’t have much in common. She was always a pretty judgmental person and liked to gossip about things we had no business knowing, while I preferred to mind my business. But we grew up together, and that should count for something. Even her mom hates me now. I had to block both their numbers from my mom’s phone so they couldn’t tell her. Luckily, my cooties seemed to have spread to Mami, and Bianca and her mom are ignoring her, too. Losing a best friend is one thing, and it sucked. It still sucks. But I won’t lose my mom.
So I take it back. I don’t miss Rover, or anyone who goes there. I’m doing fine by myself at Slayton, thank you very much.
I jump when someone reaches for my fries.
“Jesus!” I put my hand over my heart and laugh when I realize it’s just Cesar. “Why aren’t you with all your friends?” I doubt Slayton’s social butterfly is in a similar position to my own.
“You weren’t eating, so I came to help you out.” He grins.
I smack his hand away from my fries and stuff a handful of them into my mouth. “Happy?” The words are muffled by the fries.
“Yeah.” He smiles and sits across from me. “So, you too cool to sit with your friends now?”
I take my time chewing before I answer. “Yup.”
He raises an eyebrow but doesn’t pry. For once, though, I want to talk about it. I want to scream about it. I take a breath to keep myself from actually yelling.
“If I sit with them, I know I’ll hit someone, and I don’t want to get suspended.”
“Right. That’s why you won’t fight them.” He looks like he’s trying not to smile, and I hate it. I’m not in the mood to hear about my inability to stand up for myself. I just want to be mad right now. Is that so bad?
“Shut up.”
He shuts up and takes another one of my fries. I know I shouldn’t be mad at Cesar. He’s trying to help. And if anyone at this school would get it, it’s him.
“I do not care to sit with ignorant rich folk who think hoop earrings on brown skin makes me ghetto.”
Cesar’s eyebrows shoot up and he shakes his head. “The caucacity!” I shush him and look around us.
“Cesar, read the room!” I say, but I can’t help but laugh. No one was listening.
He ignores me and glares at Karen and them through the cafeteria window, not that they can actually see him. “You want me to handle them for you?”
“Really, Cesar.” I know it’s an empty offer. There’s no way he’s fighting Jenna and Karen for me. Still, I don’t like him talking like that. Slayton Cesar should not be entertaining the thought of getting into fights.
“I got you.” He looks me dead in the eye without blinking and puts a hand on my shoulder. “Just say the word and I’ll ding-dong ditch ’em.” The weirdo winks at me.
“You’re too much!” I laugh, and he grins.
“I know you’d do the same for me.”
“Damn right I would.”
“In lak’ech,” he says, and I think I get what he means. We’re the same, Cesar and I.
The setup in first hour is different the next day. Six desks sit at the front of the room. Three on one side, three on the other, all facing each other. I take my usual spot in the front corner.
“Do you know what we’re doing?” Bo says as she sits next to me.
“It’s my third day ever. I know nothing.” It comes out snappier than I meant it to, and Bo looks a little thrown. I guess the stress of not having friends is getting to me. I’m actually glad she’s still sitting with me. I smile at her to let her know I’m 100 percent approachable and talk-to-able. I look down to see a pin on her backpack that has Homophobia is GAY in rainbow letters. I have to actively stop myself from clutching my chest to keep my heart in place. I want that pin. I want the unapologetic self-confidence that comes with having a pin like that.