Chapter 34
慪ou抮e not happy. You抳e never been happy.?
After he抯 gone, she ponders these words, wondering if they are true. Has she really never been happy? She thinks she has childhood memories of sunlight and laughter but maybe they aren抰 real. Just a delusion. Maybe there is nothing outside these four walls.
慣ake the narrow gate.?
A phrase comes into her mind. 慦ide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction.?Where did that come from? She still has the pills, in their comforting blister pack, in her hand. She pops the pod and two of the tablets are in her hands.
She swallows them with what抯 left of the water.
Nelson sits in his car staring at his phone. He watches Jeremy Stokes leave Vancouver Hall and stop to sanitise his hands, wringing them together for what seems like hours. Then he takes off his mask, revealing a short, grey beard. He rubs sanitiser over his face too, which seems excessive to Nelson, before walking off in the direction of his car, one of those smug hybrid makes.
Cathbad worse. Think it抯 the end.
Can this really be how it ends? Cathbad, the fearless druid, felled by a simple virus? Nelson thinks back to the first time he met Cathbad, then a suspect in a murder investigation.
慪ou抮e very abrupt. Are you a Scorpio??
Nelson would cheerfully have killed Cathbad himself at that moment despite （or perhaps because of） him getting the star sign right. Later, he and Cathbad had crossed the marshes in a storm. Cathbad had stepped off the path and would probably have drowned if Nelson hadn抰 heaved him back to safety.
慖 am in your debt,?Cathbad had said. 慣he spirits of the ancestors are strong ?they are all around us.?
Come on, ancestors, thinks Nelson, do your bit now. It was partly in repayment of this debt that Cathbad had ?in his own words ?travelled to the dream world to rescue Nelson. Clearer than the campus around him, Nelson sees the dark water, the steps, the stone boat.
慏on抰 let go,?he抎 said to dream Cathbad.
慖 won抰。？
Since then Cathbad has fallen from a great height and landed on a stall selling Slush Puppies, he has saved his son from a kidnapper and accompanied Nelson to an earthquake zone. Surely, he has a few of his nine lives left?
Nelson can抰 face giving Ruth the news. She really loves Cathbad and would be lost without the old nutter. Nelson rubs his eyes, which have become strangely wet. The recently applied sanitiser makes them sting. Through a haze of tears, he drives back to the station.
Judy is moving in slow motion. 慪ou can FaceTime me,?said the nurse, 慳nd we抣l hold the phone close to his head.?
Judy is dimly aware of the man抯 kindness even as she gathers her children together to speak to their father via iPad. They sit in a row on the sofa and Judy dials the number given to her by the nurse, whose name is Abbas. Her hands are shaking too much, so Maddie takes the tablet from her. After a few deft clicks, the screen shows a figure in scrubs, face hidden by a visor.
慖抦 Abbas. I抦 going to hold the phone next to Michael. Don抰 be distressed at his appearance. The tubes are to help him breathe.?
慚ichael??thinks Judy. But Michael is here next to her. She can feel him sobbing quietly, unlike Miranda on the other side who is almost howling. Then she remembers; Cathbad抯 baptismal name of Michael Malone must be on his medical records.
慍athbad,?she says, 慹veryone calls him Cathbad.?
慣hat抯 useful to know,?says Abbas. 慦e抣l call him Cathbad from now on. We won抰 leave him alone, I promise. There抣l always be someone with him.?Judy can抰 see Abbas抯 face because of the mask and visor but his voice is calm and comforting. Judy wonders how many hours he抯 worked that day and how many deathbeds he has attended.
Then the screen shows a man with a mask covering most of his face, tubes snaking out from his mouth and nose. His long grey hair is spread out on the pillow.