Brian followed her inside the cottage. He seemed pensive. “How’s Roman doing?”
Why did Brian have to bring him up? She was trying hard not to think about the man who lived right next door. “He’s not sleeping, and he doesn’t know what to paint.” She found herself talking about the back wall in the studio. “I don’t know what he paints, but he seems to use that space to get rid of frustration.” Brian said he probably had a lot of things to process after what he’d been through. Grace’s thoughts kept circling Roman. “He went to church with me. He’d never been in a church. He looked so uncomfortable, like he was on another planet.”
Brian chuckled. “Well, Scripture does say we’re not of this world, and Jesus had to smuggle in the Kingdom of Heaven down here.”
They talked about the youth group and how some teens who’d never been introduced to church found it a strange environment, too. That’s why Brian went to them first, so when they did come into a service, they had an idea what to expect. “They’re more comfortable in a converted supermarket than the traditional church.” The group was growing faster than Brian had anticipated. He was teaching the book of Mark.
Why wasn’t it this easy to talk to Roman?
She knew the answer.
Brian helped with the dishes. She made decaf to go with the tiramisu. Brian sat at one end of the sofa closest to the swivel rocker where she sat. She remembered Roman stretched out right there, Samuel draped on his chest as they both slept. Her heart beat a little faster.
“What are you thinking about, Grace?”
Roman, of course, but she wasn’t going to confess to it. She didn’t want to think about another man tonight. She shouldn’t be thinking about him at all. “Nothing important.” She shook her head, trying to push Roman from her mind. “You said there were things you wanted to talk over with me.” Brian had covered a lot of topics, but still seemed to have another on his mind.
Brian nodded slowly. He set his coffee mug aside and leaned forward, his hands clasped between his knees. “We need to talk about where our relationship is going.”
She hadn’t expected him to be so blunt. “I think that’s up to you.”
“We’re both looking for permanence. Isn’t that so?”
Grace felt a sudden misgiving, a reluctance she hadn’t felt with Brian before now. “Yes.” She could hear the hesitation in her voice.
“We like each other.” Brian spread his hands. “We can talk about everything. We share the same faith. We’re both striving to be disciples of Christ.”
She felt inexplicably nervous, wishing he’d stop.
“Even with all that going for us, there’s something missing.” His smile was apologetic. “From what you’ve told me about your marriage, I’m not sure you know what I’m talking about.”
Grace had never seen Brian so embarrassed. She knew what he was trying to say. “No spark.”
He nodded. “If that’s all you have, it’s not enough to build a marriage, but if you have everything else, it makes it that much better.”
Grace felt the prick of hot tears. What if you felt that spark for someone who was inappropriate? What if you could barely catch your breath when you were with a man who didn’t know how to love, didn’t want to love anyone? What then?
“I never meant to hurt you, Grace.”
“It’s not you, Brian.” She shrugged. “I’ve felt that spark. I just wish it was with the right man.”
“Someone other than Roman Velasco, you mean.”
Her face went hot. “Why would you say that?”
“I knew the minute I saw you at the hospital. A woman doesn’t get that upset over a man unless she’s in love with him.”
She almost wept. “Is that why you’re saying this now?”
“No.” He put his palms together, avoiding her eyes. “The thing is I met someone . . . I’d like to get to know her better.” He raised his head. “And you know her.”
Everything became clear in an instant. “Shanice.”
Brian looked surprised. “How did you know?”
She smiled slightly. “The way you two were talking in the hospital waiting room.” She’d sensed at the time something had happened between them, but she had forgotten all about it. She laughed. Oh, the irony. “I’ll remind her that she’s the one who picked you out.”
“For you.”